Changing Our Ways (KIRA)

[Lotus]

Saga looked between the two of them when the mood suddenly changed from her moving, but it soon settled again. It was just the confusion in their eyes had intensified as if they weren't really sure what they were doing here. She brushed it aside slightly, saying to herself she was thinking far too much into what was going on between them. They'd been through a lot so it was natural that they were going to act a little out of the ordinary.

She laughed softly with Lawson, but when she turned to Ash her expression softened. Concern and love for her partner clearly shown on her face. "He's just messing with you Ash. Articulate means you speak well in front of people, but the joke was that you find it slightly difficult." She reached up slowly to cup his cheek in her hand and smoothed her thumb along her cheek bone to try and soothe him. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, I promise. I'd love you no matter what."

[Deleted]

Ash shot Lawson a glare after saga explained what they had been laughing at. He felt himself blush and he ducked his head. He was so embarrassed. Despite all of her tutoring, Ash still felt stupid around Saga and Lawson. But her words seemed to bring him back a bit, he was still embarrassed, but it was nice to know that she still loved him. That he wasn't going to lose her. He lent forward so that his forehead was resting against hers.

But there was sharp pang in his chest which wasn't his own. His eyes shifted to Lawson and he saw the look of hurt on his face.His brother really did love Saga too and seeing them like this was breaking his heart. That was what Ash had felt, Lawson's pain. It was strange. Yet another thing he didn't understand.

[Lotus]

Saga smiled softly up at him as she rested her forehead against his. "Honestly, you don't have to worry. It'll come with time and I'll be there every step of the way. Just think of it this way, you have trouble with speaking and English and I have trouble with photographs. Everyone's scared of something." She pulled back slightly and turned to look at Lawson. "Right?" She hoped he'd nod his head because otherwise Ash was really going to beat himself up over this.

She turned back to face Ash and reached up a little, as much as their grasps would allow to kiss Ash softly on the lips. "I'll love you always. Swear it." She smiled softly and turned to Lawson. She swore she would get whiplash or something from the amount of turning she was doing. She reached up and pecked Lawson on the cheek. He pulled back suddenly, just as Saga did herself. She was shocked at what she had just done and she knew he face showed it, but she couldn't deny the strange longing in her to be closer to Lawson as well as to the love of her life; they were twins after all. "I-I'm sorry..."

She turned back to Ash and buried her face in his chest. "I only wanted to show my appreciation to you two..."

[Deleted]

Ash was starting to feel better. The way she looked up at him with her beautiful eyes and her encouraging words reassured him. A small smile escaped him as she mentioned about the photographs. His mind drifted back to the ones he had hidden. She didn't know he had them and now - after everything had happened - they may be his only way to be properly intimate with her. He shook the thought away. Her kiss was so soft and gently it made him feel so much better and he wanted to be closer to her.

But then he felt it again. The pang in his heart that belonged to Lawson. He knew how badly his brother wanted to be him right now. But Ash knew that that was never going to happen and so did Lawson. But it didn't hurt his brother any less.

Lawson was sad at first, but then the fact that she kissed him on the cheek changed him completely. He was stunned because he knew she meant nothing by it but it still made him feel good. He smiled. Ash felt how it made his brother feel too as he wrapped his arm around the girl they both loved. "hey... it's fine Saga, it's fine.." he whispered and this time it was true. He no longer felt mad at Lawson for feeling that way about her.

[Lotus]

Saga didn't know why she'd done it but she couldn't deny how weird it made her feel on the inside. It was nothing compared to what she felt for Ash, but there was something there. She didn't know if she wanted to find out, it was worrying her. She couldn't be having second thoughts about being with Ash could she? She mentally slapped herself, of course she wouldn't be. It was the fact they were twins and nothing more. That's what she would tell herself.

Nevertheless, she felt both the twins arms snake around her properly again, bringing her in closer to the two of them. She felt safe in the cocoon of their arms and she snuggled down with the comfort of Ash's words. She looked up at Ash and saw the love in his eyes and that made her feel better, but she glanced a look at Lawson and he still looked shocked. "Is it really fine Lawson? I didn't mean-" She was cut off though by fingers on her lips, silencing her.

[Deleted]

Lawson was still shocked but he could feel that Ash was calm and relaxed. It was clear to him that he wasn't mad or annoyed about what happened. Had Ash finally accepted how Lawson felt about her? He hoped so because although it wouldn't change anything about how Saga felt it would mean he wouldn't have to be so on edge. He smiled at her and reached out to keep her quiet. He withdrew his hand quickly though as a shoot of electricty went down his arm.

He smiled sheepishly at her. "It's alright.." He said softly. "You're like my little sister." He said but the words hurt him because they weren't true. Only, they were what he thought she would want to hear to put her mind at rest. He tried to push the crushing feeling aside.

[Lotus]

Saga nodded her head stiffly and chewed her bottom lip at his words. It felt weird him calling her his little sister, she felt she was more than that to him and visa versa. She sighed softly and nodded her head, "And you're like my big brother and best friend all rolled into one." She managed a small smile then and turned back to Ash, snuggling into his chest as the two of them started tracing patterns along her skin again. It was comforting and she tried to forget the turn on side of things; she'd never felt turned on in her life.

Slowly she felt her eyes closing against her will and a yawn escaped her. She didn't understand though. Hadn't she been asleep for two days straight? Surely she would be bursting with energy right now, but clearly not. As he eyes slowly drifted shut properly and her breathing evened out she felt two kisses to the top of her head. It was odd to have two, but she wasn't sure if it was the two of them or just two from Ash. She didn't understand any of this.

[Deleted]

Ash looked over at Lawson and gave him a grateful smile. He knew how hard it was for his brother to just sit here and act like he didn't see Saga as anything more then a friend; but the fact that he ad said it made Ash happy. Lawson really was trying for him and that was all that Ash could really ask for. It was why, when he went to kiss Saga he didn't mind that Lawson did the same. It was strange, before he would have gotten angry and shouted at him; but now he seemed to understand and it was like he could feel the reasons as to why Lawson did it.

Ash smiled at his brother and gently laid Saga back down on the bed. Lawson stood up also and looked at Ash tne back down at her. "We need to talk." He said and Ash nodded his head. Taking a few steps away from Saga and sitting on the sofa in her room. He wasn't ready to leave her just yet.

"Can you feel it?" Lawson asked, sitting beside him.

"Feel what?"

"The emotions... the thing at the back of your mind that's making you feel a certain way. It's like you know its not your feelings but they're there?" Lawson said slowly, Ash could see AND feel the worry and confusion in him. He was scared that Ash would think that he was crazy. Only, he wasn't crazy because this was exactly what Ash was feeling.

"Yes... it's like I can feel you.." He said, slowly. He didn't understand, was it something he should know about but was too stupid to understand? But if it was, then why was Lawson questioning him?

"really?" Ash nodded his head. "Thank God. I thought I was going mad there." Lawson sighed.

"What is it?" Ash was still confused.

"I don't know... but give me more time and I'll work it out..." Lawson trailed off, glancing over to the sleeping Saga. Ash followed his gaze, feeling the worry build up. "It's weird... being able to feel how much you love her and knowing that I feel the same, only she only loves you back... I'm just a friend to her..." Lawson said, his voice filled with sadness.

Ash didn't know what to say. What could you say to that? He just nodded his head stiffly and moved back to her bedside. So many questions were running through his head.

[Lotus]

Saga's dreams weren't peaceful, but they were far from the nightmares she was terrified would happen. In a way, it helped relax her; seeing things in a different perceptive helped her calm her thoughts and feelings down. It was odd, but as long as it worked she wasn't too bothered. She slowly felt sleep leaving her and she became more aware of her surroundings. She heard soft talking but she wasn't quite sure who it was or what they were saying; after all she wasn't really too bothered.

Sleep took her under again and when her eyes finally fluttered open again, the room was practically dark other than for the bed side table lamp that was giving off a soft, homely glow around the room. She sighed and looked over to Ash who was asleep on the chair by her bed and then to Lawson who was curled up on the floor. She watched them for a little bit before the pressing urge to use the bathroom became too much to handle.

She pushed herself up onto her elbows and slowly made herself sit up. She looked around the room, letting her head stop spinning before she swung her legs out of bed. Just as her feet touched the floor arms were around her, holding her where she was. She looked up to see both Ash and Lawson gripping her in some place or another and she smiled softly at how protective both of them were. "I just needed the bathroom and didn't want to disturb you..."

[Deleted]

Ash had tried to stay awake so that when she came back round he would be there to comfort her. He was worried that she would have nightmares. That when she woke up she would be in pain. He was just so worried about her. But these feelings only wore him down and eventually he found himself falling asleep. But Lawson's mind was restless as well. Ash could feel it. It resulted in his sleep being light.

He woke on hearing a movement. At first panic set in but he soon realised who it was. Saga. But then a whole new set of panic filled him. What if she wasn't alright? She was so weak. He needed to help her. He was vaguely aware of Lawson being awake too as he grabbed onto her, trying to support her small body.

"Well we're awake now.." Lawson suddenly whispered. Ash glanced at him and smiled. Glad that his brother was here.

"You're weak sweetheart, let me help you.." Ash said gently, standing up and leaning all of her weight onto him. His rib was still bruised and sore but he could move more now.

[Lotus]

Saga smiled softly, "I didn't mean to wake you." She looked between the two of them and when Ash helped her off the bed she realised now that she wouldn't have made it on her own. She tried to put as much of her weight on the floor as possible, seeing as she knew Ash's rib wasn't going to be fully healed. "Be right back Lawson. Try and go back to sleep okay?" She smiled softly and reached for his hand to squeeze it.

Ash helped her out of her bedroom and down the hallway. He was about to go in the bathroom with her when she giggled softly; she hadn't done that in a long time. "I can go to the bathroom alone silly. I can hold on to things, it's okay. I'll be right back." She smiled softly and closed the door behind her. She let out a huge sigh before making her way further into the bathroom.

To say it was a struggle was an understatement. She could hardly stand without her head feeling dizzy, but she just hoped it was a side effect of not waking up for two days straight rather than this so called brain damage that she may have. She stared at herself in the mirror after washing her hands and traced her pink scar with his forefinger gently. "Not much has got better since then..." She sighed before making her way back outside.

[Deleted]

Lawson smiled gently at Saga as she left with Ash. He wanted to be in Ash's place, to feel the way his heart lifted up and filled with relief first hand, not just through this weird connection feeling thing he had with Ash. But there was nothing he could do about it, Saga would never see him the same way she saw Ash.

He rested on the edge of her bed. He was anxious about her well being and so was Ash. He could feel it. Neither of them seemed to know what to do about making her feel better. It worried Lawson. How could they protect someone when they didn't even know how to make her smile again? He sighed as the two of them came back into the room.

[Lotus]

Ash helped her all the way back to her room and she sat gingerly on the bed. She reached out for Lawson's hand and entwined her fingers with his as Ash sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Thank you for helping." She whispered and kissed Ash softly on the cheek. She turned her attention back to Lawson and smiled softly, "Now why didn't you go back to sleep mister?" She fake frowned and that, at least, had him smiling more than either of them had done in days.

She settled back into Ash and kept her gaze on Lawson. The two of them looked exhausted and she began to wonder what the hell they'd been doing while she'd been out for two days. Had they relaxed at all or even eaten anything properly. "Are you two hungry? 'Cause I bet you've eaten practically nothing to what your big forms are used to. Then once you've eaten you can come back up here and you can both sleep. Got it?" She looked between the two of them with one eyebrow raised. She knew all they wanted to do was look after her, but now it was her turn to give something back.

[Deleted]

Lawson's heart did a little jump when she clasped his hand and he tried not to focus on the happy feeling that Ash was expressing when she laid against him. Lawson wanted to be happy for himself, not because of how Ash felt. He looked up at Ash as she spoke. He was hungry, yes. But he knew that Ash would never leave her side again. His brother was still blaming himself for everything.

Lawson smiled at her. "I'll go eat, then bring something up for you and Ash.."He said gently. It wasn't what she wanted but it was the only way Ash would eat anything. Lawson stood up and saw a look of appreciation in his brother's eyes. He smiled.

[Lotus]

Saga shook her head and gripped hold of Lawson's hand tighter. "That won't be happening. I'll come down with you. I want to get out of this room." She grinned up at the two of them and saw them both visibly sigh. "C'mon guys, I'm not that bad for company." She giggled softly to herself before swinging her legs over the edge of the bed again. She was wary of the stairs but she knew she could do it slowly.

This time she managed to push herself to her feet, but standing without swaying was another matter. Arms were wrapped round her waist immediately and she let out a sigh of relief. She leant into Ash and smiled up at him. "Are you really that mean to let your brother eat on his own? Now move." She took a step forward, knowing he'd have to follow.

[Deleted]

Ash had been pleased with what Lawson had said. He didn't want to leave Saga, he was still so worried about her. He knew Lawson didn't want to leave either, but Ash was grateful that he was making this sacrifice for them. But she was just so stubborn. He was never going to win against her. He sighed.

He would go downstairs with them, but she wasn't leaving his side. That much he was going to fight for. He held her waist firmly but gently. Not wanting to let her go. "Come on then" He said softly into her ear. When they reached the top of the stairs Ash remembered what had happened last time. He scooped her up in his arms gently and carried her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

[Lotus]

Saga'a breath caught in her throat when Ash picked her up at the top of the stairs. "But your side." She whispered. Lawson was in front of them and he turned back to look up at them with a sadness that filled his eyes, but she didn't quiet understand it. When Ash finally placed her back on her feet in the kitchen she smacked him lightly on the chest. "I could've walked from the bottom of the stairs..." She pouted up at him and broke out of his his hold to go and lower herself into a chair.

"Help yourself. I don't know what there is." She sat back and watched them rummage through the cupboards before they came back with a hoard of food and placed it on the table. "Guess you do eat a lot then." She looked between the two of them and placed her head in her hands as she watched them start to tuck in.

Her mind wandered to different thoughts, and she didn't really come back till fingers were clicking in front of her eyes. She zoned back in to find Lawson lowering his hand from her face. She smiled softly and cleared her throat, "I was just thinking..." She trailed off and looked away from them. "Do my parents know I woke up?"

[Deleted]

Lawson tried not to laugh at the shock he could feel coming from Ash. How did he not know that she was going to make a fuss? He sighed and shook his head. Heading to the cupboards. He was starving and had only jst realised it. They ate in silence which felt odd but comfortable. Lawson noticed that Saga wasn't eating anything so he tried to get her attention. He was worried about her.

Her question distracted him from his original task. He looked at her and thought for a moment. "Err..no, I don't think so... but I think they went out." her face fell for a moment. "To get some more food!" Lawson quickly added in, not wanting to upset her. He smiled kindly at Saga. He was worried.

[Lotus]

Saga nodded her head softly, and a small smile crept to her lips. "I'll just surprise them in the morning then." She saw the two of them visibly relax and they continued to eat. She wasn't all that hungry, but she knew they'd worry if she didn't eat anything at all. She reached out tentatively and picked up a tortilla crisp before crunching down on it slowly.

The two of them were watching her with the same look in their eyes again and her brow furrowed, but she tried to lighten the mood again. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was this crisp saved for someone?" She giggled softly and finished it off before they could say a word. "Too late."

[Deleted]

Ash relaxed. He had felt Lawson's worry and he knew he was thinking that she would get upset that her parents weren't here. But no. She seemed perfectly alright with it which could only have been a good thing. He smiled and continued to eat. He saw saga move and automatically he turned to watch her. She was eating. That was a good sign.

He found himself grinning. "I wanted that!" He said playfully. Pouting fakely. He could tell she wanted to lighten the mood and he wanted to make her laugh.

[Lotus]

Saga simply shrugged her shoulders and reached out for another one. "Suck it up you big baby. I ate it so deal with the consequences. There a plenty more where that came from." She hadn't meant to talk so harshly and she slapped a hand over her mouth as her eyes grew wide. She had no idea where that had even come from. She shook her head slightly and looked down at her lap. "I'm sorry." She mumbled beneath her hand.

She dared herself to look back up at the two of them, but they weren't looking at her. They were looking at each other and from where Saga was sitting it looked like they were having a conversation with no words being spoken. "I'm sorry..." She whispered softly and she put the crisp back that she'd originally taken. Suddenly one of them broke out into quiet laughter and she looked up to see Lawson trying to hold it in. Soon enough Ash was joining in and all Saga could do was sit there and watch them as if they'd completely lost the plot.

[Deleted]

Ash suddenly felt a swell of annoyance building up in the back of his mind. He turned and faced Lawson with an annoyed look. He had just been joking around. He hadn't meant for Saga to take it the wrong way, and now she getting upset he felt awful. But he didn't get why Lawson was so annoyed, Ash knew that he would have gotten annoyed and protective if the tables were reversed. But that was because she was his girlfriend. He tried his best not to think about it.

Ash carried on staring at his brother. Trying to get him to see that he had been joking, just how Saga had been. She had been trying to lighten the mood and he had wanted to make her laugh. That was why he had pouted so stupidly. Finally the annoyed feeling disappeared and he saw Lawson's eyes lighten. His brother had understood. Ash smiled. Just as Lawson started laughing.

Ash looked at his brother not understanding what was going on. Lawson had seen the way Saga had put back the crisp sheepishly, but Ash hadn't. But Lawson's laugh was contagious, as was the happy feeling that was being reflected off of him and onto Ash. They both started laughing.

Until Ash noticed the look on Saga's face. He reached out a hand and placed it over hers. "Sweetheart, I was playing... of course you can have a crisp. "

[Lotus]

Saga finally felt her body relaxing again and a small smile spread across her lips. "I don't feel like crisps anymore." Instead she reached across the table and picked up a chocolate bar; they were after all her favourite. She finally felt a grin forming on her lips as she undid the wrapper, but this time she was going to be careful. Before taking a bite herself she offered it to the two of them, only for them booth to decline it. She shrugged her shoulders and took a bite, swaying slightly with the taste of it in her mouth.

She hadn't realised she'd closed her eyes till she had to open them. Lawson and Ash were having another silent conversation so she cleared her throat discretely and they both looked at her. "What's going on? I feel like I'm missing out of something what with all your weird secret looks."

[Deleted]

Lawson looked at Saga and smiled as she ate some more. He was glad that she was eating willingly and that she seemed to be enjoying it. The fact that she was happy made him happy. He wanted her to be happy and to be well and he would do anything to try and maintain and help that happen. It was important to him. He really did care a lot about her.

Ash looked at Lawson. He could feel all of his emotions and the most prominent one was love. Ash could admit that Lawson loved Saga as long as Lawson kept it suppressed, never tried top act on it. But this feeling was just a great big sign pointing out how his brother felt about her. It mirrored how Ash felt perfectly and that put him on edge. He was worried that Lawson would slip and somehow Saga would find out. Ash was scared that she would think Lawson was better then him and then choose to go with him, not Ash. He loved her so much and he didn't want that to happen; no matter how much he wanted her to be happy.

He shot Lawson a look. In the hopes to get his brother to stand down from his feelings. To get him to suppress how he felt. Lawson didn't want to have to do that anymore. If she didn't know he didn't see why he couldn't carry on feeling that way. It made no sense to him. But then she spoke and both of them were caught off guard.

Ash looked towards Saga guiltily. He didn't understand what was going on with him and Lawson and this new connection thing they had going. He didn't know if he should tell Saga or not. It made him worry juts a little bit. But Lawson felt his brothers discomfort and tried to fix things. "Nothing... we're just being guys I guess..."

[Lotus]

Saga looked between the two of them one last time before shrugging her shoulders. "Guess I don't want to know about that then." She smiled softly and reached for another chocolate bar; that's all she really felt like eating. The rest of the time they spent eating was accompanied by idle chit chat and laughter; albeit quiet laughter. It was comfortable and there was no talk of terrible things, just talk of what's to come.

Around an hour later, everything was packed back in the cupboards and Saga made her way to the living room. On the way she saw her little white kitten and rushed over to her. "Hello baby, I've missed you." She cooed and Hope started purring straight away; she couldn't help but chuckle. Ash and Lawson followed her in slowly, but they still seemed to be having an internal conversation and it was starting to get on her nerves. "Shall we play a game till my parents get in?"