Changing Our Ways (KIRA)

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I saw what Saga had written and at first I thought it was about me. But then I heard what her dad began to say, and I relaxed. But then I worried a little, why didn't she want Ace there? What had he done to make Saga not want to see her brother when she was hurt?

I turned to look at her, casting a sideways glance at her dad. I was worried what he might think of what I was about to say, but I needed to ask her. I took hold of Saga's hand with both of mine. I looked her in the eye. "Saga, why don't you want Ace here? Not that I'll try and persuade you otherwise or anything... but why not?" I asked her gently.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I looked up to Ash and saw my dad put a restraining hand on his shoulder as he shook his head. I sighed and looked away as I tried to think of a way to answer what he had just asked me. After all, my dad didn't even know the true reason. It was petty, the reason why, but it was true. And Ash didn't have to live with Ace.

I grabbed the pen again and wrote, "He's not Ace any more. He's a violent, scary person that I don't want to call my brother. If he sees me like this...everything will be worse. He jokes about how useless I am to his career friends. You must have heard things Ash..." I trailed the sentence off as I held it up to the both of them. I looked into the faces of both Ash and my dad as what I had written sank in. I guess it was a little shocking after all.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I stared at the paper she held up. I squinted as I tried to read what the paper said. I saw her dad shake his head in a sad way out of the corner of my eye before he looked at me. But it took me a while longer before I had finished the note. I pulled back and looked at saga, squeezing her hand gently.

I smiled softly. I tried to think about what I remembered about Ace in training. His group of friends were similar to Lawsons only a year or two younger; I avoided that lot. But I did remember him saying something in the changing rooms, not long aftet the first attack I saw with Saga. I wouldn't tell her that though. "oh Saga, its alright..."

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I screwed that piece of paper up and tried to sit up again. I was getting restless now and I didn't want to think about Ace any more. I brushed off Ash's remarks and pushed myself up slowly and painfully into a sitting position. But once I was up I had no way of supporting myself so I just looked around; obviously confused.

Ash noticed and he came and sat behind me with his arms wrapped around me, after a glance at my dad. They seemed to be getting on well and I couldn't help but smile up at my dad and mouth the words 'thank you'. At least something was going right for once. If my mum was here, then everything would be perfect...or pretty close.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I tried to support Saga comfortably but securely. I moved in closer to her and rested my head against her; I was conscious of her dad watching her. I'd need to be careful. I smiled at her dad, I really hoped that he liked me. I wanted to make a good impression on him, but at the back of ty mind I dreaded what would happen if he found out Lawson had been part of the attacks on Saga. But he wouldn't, not until I'd gotten my hands on him.

I was worrued about Ace and Saga now, what if it wasn't just mean words that he'd hurt Saga with? I knew his type and it scared me that he wouldn't even blink at the idea of hurting a girl, let alone his sister. But I would keep her safe. I would protect her. But still, I needed to know; but not in front of her dad.

"Saga, do you need anything?" I asked, secretly hoping that her dad would be the one to get it.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I turned my head to look at Ash and I was struck by how lovely his eyes were, even with the pained expression that he had in them at the moment. I looked back to my dad and gave the motion of a drink. My throat literally felt as if it was on fire. My dad nodded his head and smiled as he stood up and left. I wanted more painkillers too, but knowing my dad, he'd check with the doctors first about anything; so I'd have some soon enough and then the pain would be gone.

I leaned into Ash and sighed slowly. He was comfortable and he smelled really good. I couldn't help but smile a little. I reached up my bandaged hand and felt his sore arm. I had never meant for him to get hurt. I had never meant for any of this...

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I smiled as her dad left, I was glad that we were alone. I felt her lean in closer to me and I hated the fact that I was going to ruin this moment. But I had to know. I tried not to wince when she touched my bad arm; she couldn't know that I was badly hurt.

I squeezed her hand gently as I turned my head. I kissed her forehead before I pued back to look into her eyes. I didn't know how to do this, but it had to be asked. "Saga? What else has Ace done to hurt you?" I said as softly as I could. "I'm sorry to bring this up Saga, but I need to know. I don't want to let you get hurt again..."

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I saw the slight wince on his face and I wanted to cry. It wasn't just a scratch he'd got, but it was far worse. I hated myself for that. I hated the fact that he'd been the one to save me, because instead of saving me, I was just dragging him down with me.

His next point made my eyes tear up even more. I looked away from him and shook my head. I couldn't tell him that; he was still my little brother. Even through everything he was still the person I had to look out for. But then Ash brought my face back round to look at him and I sighed.

My eyes flickered down and I took a deep breath, breathing in his calming scent. I picked up the pen and a new sheet of paper and scribbled, "He's joined in a few times. He abuses Jaida too, sometimes. It's why she's so small still...and ragged looking..." I leant my head on his shoulder and placed the piece of paper in his hand. I lifted my finger to my lips in the motion of him not to say anything.

Before he had a chance to say anything I took the paper from him and scribbled out what I'd written. I wrote something new, "Tell me how bad your arm is?"

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I was shocked. I'd just about finisjed reading what she wrote before she took it away but Saga was ctying and I knew then it must be true. I wad so angry at Ace. He'd hurt her, so had my brother, but the cat as well?! I gritted my teeth. I was never going to let that happen again. I wasn't.

I glanced down at the paper again. I couldn't tell her how bad it was, she'd blame herself, but i coupdn't lie to her either. "It hurts but it'll be fine." I said, hoping to brush over the topic. I tutned my hody round to face her. "Saga, everything is going to be alright now." I said soothingly. I reached a hand up to brush the har out f her eyes and cup her cheek. I lent in close. "I promise." I whispered, before kissing her.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I was shocked. I'd just about finisjed reading what she wrote before she took it away but Saga was ctying and I knew then it must be true. I wad so angry at Ace. He'd hurt her, so had my brother, but the cat as well?! I gritted my teeth. I was never going to let that happen again. I wasn't.

I glanced down at the paper again. I couldn't tell her how bad it was, she'd blame herself, but i coupdn't lie to her either. "It hurts but it'll be fine." I said, hoping to brush over the topic. I tutned my hody round to face her. "Saga, everything is going to be alright now." I said soothingly. I reached a hand up to brush the har out f her eyes and cup her cheek. I lent in close. "I promise." I whispered, before kissing her.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I was shocked. I'd just about finisjed reading what she wrote before she took it away but Saga was ctying and I knew then it must be true. I wad so angry at Ace. He'd hurt her, so had my brother, but the cat as well?! I gritted my teeth. I was never going to let that happen again. I wasn't.

I glanced down at the paper again. I couldn't tell her how bad it was, she'd blame herself, but i coupdn't lie to her either. "It hurts but it'll be fine." I said, hoping to brush over the topic. I tutned my hody round to face her. "Saga, everything is going to be alright now." I said soothingly. I reached a hand up to brush the har out f her eyes and cup her cheek. I lent in close. "I promise." I whispered, before kissing her.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

He kissed me but I wouldn't kiss him back. He was hiding the wound on his arm from me which meant it was worse than he was letting on to. I pulled away from the kiss and looked at him. I willed my voice to work first time round.

"Tell me." It cracked and was still not the voice that I was used to hearing, but it had the effect that I wanted. I needed to know everything that had happened. I looked into his eyes and pleaded more, just making sure he'd give in and let me know.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I looked at Saga, I was a little hurt that she'd pulled away from the kiss. I'd wanted her to forget everything bad that had happened, even if it was just for a moment or two. But the look I saw in her eyes meant that I couldn't not tell her about my arm. I couldn't hurt her anymore than she had been already though. I didn't know what to do but I couldn't deny her what she asked of me.

I took hold of her hand as gently as I could. "Saga, I don't want you to worry. I've had injuries like this before and I've got through them and come out with only a scar or two.... but it's bad, my arms a bit stiff... I've had stitches and I won't be able to swing a sword , or any weapon, for a long time... but I can bite through the pain.... and it's not your fault!" I said as gently as I could.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I let my head drop down as I felt tears come to my eyes. I'd caused that. If I hadn't got into trouble then he wouldn't have had to step in and he wouldn't have gotten hurt. I couldn't believe all of this had happened. It was all unfair and stupid.

"If I hadn't..." Then my voice dropped and I couldn't speak any more. I wouldn't even look up at him. But then I didn't need to. There was a commotion outside the door and men in white and my dad came back in. Then pain would be gone...at last.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I shook my head quickly and lent closer to Saga. I couldn't let her blame herself. It wasn't right. I rested my forehead against hers gently. "Saga, don't... it's not your fault..." I said, trying to soothe her. But my efforts were interrupted, there was a commotion outside. I kissed Saga's forehead quickly and stood up. Squeezing her hand gently.

The doctors filed in, followed by her dad. I was holding Saga's hand and many of the doctors gave me disapproving looks. "can I help you?" I asked, perhaps a little too coldly.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I wouldn't listen to Ash, I wouldn't believe his words. They made no sense and I didn't understand how he could say it wasn't my fault. The way my life turned out was all my fault. I was ashamed of it, but I'd made things okay for just that little amount of time before I went and ruined it again. I was, in fact, useless.

When Ash stood up I sort of flopped back onto the bed quite roughly. It was painful now, but I tried to stay quiet. I tried to concentrate on the conversation between Ash, my dad and the men in white, but the pain was surging through me now. Suddenly it was dull and then it was like someone shocking me and sending it from my head to my toes. All I wanted was that stuff they gave me before where I went to sleep and the pain went away! Was that too much to ask?

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I glared at the doctors and her dad. They were talking but I couldn't get what they were on about. It had something to do with Saga's condition and her pain. A lot of what they said was really complicated. I turned to look at saga, she didn't seem too good.

I moved to the side of her bed and took her hand. "What's wrong?" I said quickly but quietly. The doctors were still talking and had seemed to forget that I was there, they were only focussing on her dad. That didn't surprise me, when they looked at me they probably just saw a stupid brute. I guess it was true, but I was used to that feeling now. Hust as lobg as Saga never saw me that way again.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I didn't get time to even open my eyes to look at Ash before I felt him moved away by strong arms and the words of my dad. Then there was the soothing relief of everything going numb again and I felt my whole body relax as that stuff they gave me worked its way through my veins.

I felt the drowsiness creep over me as I tried to get snippets of the conversation that was going on. There were deep voices, full of concern and that worried me a little. But the thing they'd given me didn't let me worry for too long before it was replaced with the feeling of pain-free bliss again.

Things were getting duller as I gave up the fight to strain to listen to any more. The last words I heard were the words of Ash and my dad together, "What's actually wrong with her?" More of a demand than a mere question...

[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I got angry when they moved me out of the way, especially because it was Saga's dad that was telling them to do it. I didn't like that at all. But I couldn't let out my anger because that would get me thrown out of the hospital. I reluctantly drew back and stood in the corner of the room. I watched as Saga began to drift off, the painkiller must have been really strong.

I turned my attention towards her dad when he started asking the doctors questions. I drew closer, wanting to know what they were saying. None of it made any sense, the doctors weren't telling us what was wrong, only that she was hurt really badly. "What's actually wrong with her?" I blurted out, eerily it was at the same time as her dad. I looked at him and he looked back at me. Then we both looked back at the doctors, waiting for an answer.

"well, we think she might have some brain damage and well... I'm sorry to tell you that we don't know how bad it is nor if she'll be able to fully recover..." The doctor said slowly. It took me a moment to work out exactly what he meant. But when I worked it out I didn't know what to say or do. I looked over at Saga, unconscious on the bed. She just seemed so vulnerable.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

Things were dark now, but there was the rare moment of flashing light that creped into my, for once, peaceful and thoughtless mind. There were just colours and patterns with no pain attached. It was quite, but in a way it was lonely too. I wasn't even sure if these were my true thoughts or things just giggling around in my brain.

It was weird, this place I was in. I wanted out, yet I so wanted to stay there. It was so care free, but some how there was a hint of something not being quite right. It was peaceful, yet lonely. I wasn't sure if I liked it or detested it. There wasn't really anything going on and all I wanted to know was what was going on outside; and why I had to completely zone out as soon as the juicy gossip about me was coming into play.

The train of thought was lost instantly though and I was back to watching weird patterns and colours dance and prance around in my mind.

[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I was shocked at what was being said. I didn't know how to respond. What could I do on hearing that Saga may be seriously hurt and yet there was nothing I would be able to do. Nothing that the doctors could do if her brain decided that it just didn't want to work properly again.

I couldn't deal with that, not after just finding out that Saga liked me too. I looked over at her dad, he had no expression on his face. He was just serious. I knew I didn't look like that. I glanced at the doctor again before I went and sat down in the chair next to Saga. I looked at her sleeping, she just seemed so vulnerable and everything the doctors had said suddenly seemed possible. I took Saga's hand gently.

"What can be done if she remains with brain damage?" I asked the doctor uncertainly, not wanting to know the answer.
"We can do therapy to try and get her back to normal again, sometimes it works well but not all the time I'm afraid. But we don't know if any damage has been done yet." He replied, I nodded my head and looked back at Saga.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I started hearing noises again and I was thankful for that. So was my mind by the sounds of it, it was like it gave a massive sigh at being able to intake information again. The pain was still gone though and for that I could not be any more grateful. There just seemed to be a throbbing in my throat and a pulsing in my head that wouldn't go away, but I'd put up with that any day that having to bare that pain again.

I opened my eyes slowly to a deep conversation between my dad and Ash. The men in white were gone now and it didn't seem so tense any more. I looked from the both of them and my dad was the first to see me awake. I smiled at him and then got sidetracked my something outside the door so I completely missed what anyone had just said until I was lightly stroked on the face by someone.

[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

Me and Saga's dad had been discussing what we would do if she had permanent brain damage. I'd made it quite clear that I wasn't planning on going anywhere and that I would help with anything that I could. So me and her dad were discussing whether we would let Saga go to therapy or not. I was quite definite in thinking that we should, I wanted to make sure that she was alright. But her dad didn't want the embarrassment. I was angry at that but I knew he also wanted what was best for Saga.

Suddenly he stopped talking and looked over at Saga. I turned my head to see that she was awake, I smiled at her. I was still holding Saga's hand and I squeezed it gently but she didn't seem to respond. "Saga, how are you feeling?" I asked her gently. She didn't reply or even look at me. I was worried, so I reached out and stroked her face with the back of my knuckles really gently. Trying to get her attention.

[Lotus]

SAGA GREGORIO

I turned my head back round and smile at Ash; who had been the one to stroke my face. I looked into his eyes and he looked scared, worried, hurt, upset. I looked into my dads eyes and they showed exactly the same emotions as Ash did. I had done that to the both of them, and I would never forget the look of it. I never wanted it to happen again, and I never wanted to be the cause of it again.

I looked down at Ash's hand wrapped around my tiny bandaged one and I moved my thumb a little in order to stroke the back of his hand. I opened my mouth and tried to speak, but sighed when all that came out was a squeak. This was going to be tiring.

[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I smiled at Saga and squeezed her hand again. "Don't worry about talking, save your voice Saga." I said to her gently. I was really concerned about her though, I was looking for signs of what the brain damage might have dome to her, but I couldn't see anything yet except from the talking problem.

I smiled at Saga and then looked over at her dad. he was watching us carefully. But I didn't care. I wanted to kiss Saga, I really did. But I didn't want to hurt her or make her dad mad. But then I looked into her eyes, she seemed so lost that I knew I had to bring her back and reassure her. I smiled and lent into her. I kissed Saga ever so gently on the lips, stroking her cheek with my fingertips.