Changing Our Ways (KIRA)

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I shook my head softly but I was behind him so he didn't see. "Yeah it is. I'll start of with normal words than." I laughed a little trying to make him more at ease. He started reading and I heard how slow and quiet he was. "Don't be embarrassed about it. We all have to start somewhere right? Just go for it." I looked over his shoulder to keep an eye on where he'd got to. {OOC:Use this book! (: Maybe use some of the stuff from it and things...like stuck on words and I'll find them! Don't make it too hard. www.amazon.co.uk/Forgotten-Cat-Patrick/dp/1405253614} (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I looked at her sideways on, smiling a little bit. I was a little embarrassed... I knew that I wasn't very smart and that I wasn't an excellent reader. I just hoped I wouldn't screw up too bad. I stopped reading and started again, talking louder this time. I tried not to be too slow either.

"Aren’t Fridays supposed to be good?
This one started badly.
The note on my night...nightstand didn’t tell me anything useful. My eyelids wanted to stay closed; my favourite jeans were in the hamper, ... err thats a washing basket right?! ... and there was no milk in the fridge.
Worst of all, my cell phone was dead: the shiny, candy red one that I’ll have until it falls into a gutter; the one that has the ca...calendar and reminder bells and is essen...essentially my p..portable, socially acc...acceptable security blanket.
‘You’ll be fine,’ my mom said during the drive to school this morning.
‘How do you know?’ I asked. ‘I could have a huge math test today. There could be a school assembly that I won’t know about.’
‘It’s just one day, London. You’ll be fine without your phone for one day.’
‘Easy for you to say,’ I muttered, looking out the window.
Now, right now, standing here, I have proof that my mom was wrong. I am not fine without my phone for one day."
I stuttered a bit with this first paragraphs... I didn't know what she was thinking of me....

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. He wasn't too bad at reading. Yes he stuttered and stammered around with a few words, and yes he may not have known that a hamper was another word for a washing basket. We all had our downfalls and his reading honestly wasn't that bad a one. I nodded encouragingly for him to go and said, "You're getting into it. Try reading the next nit in your head and see if that's easier. If you get stuck, simply turn round and ask." I rested my head back against the tree and closed my eyes; relaxing. (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I smiled shyly at her. "Thank you" I said quietly, I didn't know if I she heard me though.
I turned back to the book and started reading again, this time in my head. I got through the rest of the chapter without any problems, I seemed to understand what was being said and that made me happy. I realised quickly that this was obviously a girls book which was probably the reason why Saga liked it so much. But I did find myself enjoying it the more I read. I found myself smiling as I read.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I was comfy and I was slowly relaxing and letting the natural noise of the woods around me settle my thoughts. I heard a cough and opened my eyes to see Ash staring at me. I felt my face go a little red as I realised he could've been watching me for quite some time. Then he waved the book at me and told me he'd finished the chapter. I couldn't help but smile. "And how do you like it? It's good right? Hard to get your head around some of the things that happen, but still excellent. And the best thing is how well it's written." I looked at my watch on my wrist as I listened to his answer. He liked it, which was good. Maybe that's all he needed. Something he enjoyed to get him going. I stood up and brushed myself down. "I've been out for quite a while so I think I'd better be heading back home. Tomorrow we'll do the same if you want, but Ace is out with his friends all day 'cause it's your day with no training right?" I saw him nod his head; a good sign. "So why don't you come by tomorrow around the same time as today and we can carry on?" {OOC - After your post shall we skip forward to when things go wrong. Then it won't all be the same thing. Obviously we can say about the things that have been going on. How about 3/4 weeks gone by?} (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

At first, I was a little gutted that she wanted to leave but then she said she wanted to meet up again. I smiled, I was really pleased that she wanted to meet up with me again. I was glad that she didn't just think of me like the rest of the careers, even if she did think that I was stupid.

"yeah, that sounds good. Should I... err bring anything?" I asked her hesitantly. I stood up as well. Getting ready to walk Saga back home.

(ooc: yeah, if you want to. its up to you. )

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. My reply was simple, "Just any work you don't get or anything you think could be useful." And that was that for that day. I was glad to be going home, but I wasn't really prepared for the amount of work he'd be. ---JUMPING FORWARD A MONTH--- So, I'd been tutoring Ash for around a month, and even though he was real hard work, he had improved a lot. And he seemed incredibly proud of it; as it should be. And true to his word, that I'd never believed, I hadn't been beaten up once. But then again, that could have been because we were nearly always together; seeing as he needed that much work. I was sitting around in my room waiting for him to turn up to our Saturday afternoon sessions, but he was nearly an hour late. I didn't know what was keeping him; he'd never been late before. Then I'd realised that lately he had been getting a bit tardy with his work and even turning up on the dot like he used to. I mean a few minutes is understandable, but an hour? What could make him that late? It was putting me in a bad mood, so when the doorbell eventually rang and went downstairs and flung the door open. "What took you so long? I know I don't have much of a life, but I have better things to do than wait around an hour for you to come by..." I trailed off, realising I'd never really been angry at him. I turned round. "Come on in then. We've got to get going. I'll get us a drink." (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I was really pleased with how me and Saga had been going. My school work was finally starting to improve. I even thought that Saga was starting to see me as a friend. I really hoped that was the case.

I had a session with Saga saturday afternoons but I'd gone out with my friends in the morning. They didn't seem to like the fact I was spending so much time with her, so I'd been trying to make it up to them. Only, I hadn't paid attention to the time and I was over half an hour late when I'd left them.

I ran to my house to get my stuff and then on to Saga's. I was really anxious when I rang the doorbell. But, I was even more surprised when she got angry at me, she hadb't done that before. "errr....I'm sorry..." I said quietly, following her in.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I walked into the kitchen and poured our drinks and got a few snacks out. I put them on the table and motioned for him to take a seat. I literally slammed myself down in a chair and said, "Sorry, just been having a bad day. So, what have we got to do today? Or is there nothing new this week?" I tried to smile at him as I got my pen out from where I'd tucked and wrapped it into my hair. As I did so my hair fell around my shoulders. I tapped it on the table anxiously. (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I looked at Saga, trying to figure out what was up with her. I knew she wouldn't tell me if I asked, but I could tell that something wasn't quite right. I was a little worried, she seemed anxious as well as a bit short tempered and mad. I tried to smile at her.

I sat down opposite from Saga and put my bag on the table. I opened it up and pulled out an exercise book. "well..umm... I had a go at some homework... but do you think you could check it for me?" I asked her softly, I didn't want to make her mood worse. "but, do you want to talk about what's made you have a bad day first?" I asked her even more timidly.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I slid his book across the table and looked down at it as I shook my head. "Nothing's bothering me. Just a bad day, we all have them." I was trying to concentrate on what he wrote but I could hardly read it. I looked back up to him. "Did you even try with this? You've been getting so much better, but lately you've just gone back downhill. I mean, this isn't even legible. Tell me, how long did you spend writing this?" I was angry, but not all of it was directed at him. (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I was a little taken aback, I didn't know why she was so angry at me. I mean I knew that I had been late and all but I didn't think it meant that she should be this mad. As for my work, well I knew I hadn't tried as hard as I could with this piece because my training had been falling behind; my parents hadn't been too happy about that and so I was having to work harder at training as well as stay later to do extra sessions. I was finding it hard to manage all of this.

I looked down at my work, I'd tried so hard to improve my handwriting but it was still shameful to see. "I'm sorry... I've been distracted alot lately..." I trailed off.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I shook my head at him. It wasn't a good enough excuse but I wasn't in the mood to get into another argument today. Ace had been bad this morning and I hadn't seen him since he left the house. My parents were angry at me because I'd 'caused' the argument. Always the way for the oldest to get blamed even when he was the one that had lashed out at me...physically. I slid the book back across the table and said, "You've got time now, so just re-write it out. What you've written is good, but you need to be able to read it." I sat back in my chair and looked out of the window. "How much further into the book are you? You should have finished it by now right?" (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I dug out my pen from my bag and began to write out my homework again. I did it slowly so that I wouldn't make any mistakes and so that it would be as neat as I could get it; which was scruffy according to most people.

I looked up at what Saga said. She was right, I should have finished it by now but I hadn't. I'd gotten sidetracked with training and had less time to read. I hadn't picked up the book in a few days. "I'm... nearly done..." I said carefully. I felt really bad that I hadn't finished it yet.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I nodded my head and said, "Well that's more than I expected. But I suspect from your tone, that you're really not near to finishing and you haven't read in a while." I smiled down at myself as I saw his expression from the corner of my eye. "Yeah, I'm right. But then again, I can't force you so if you have something better to do then by all means concentrate on that something else. After all, where's being clever and geeky going to get anyone?" I got up from the chair and wandered to the sink to tip my drink away. I turned round to find him staring. I was acting weird, I knew that, but I was just in a bad mood and aching just a little. Ash could stop my usual bullies from attacking me in public, but the menace that took over my brother on occasion, he could not. "Staring isn't going to get that written out any quicker." (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I was a little hurt as to how Saga acted but then if I thought about it, I guess she was right to feel angry at me. She didn't know I was getting more pressure put on me to train more, she probably thought that I was just wasting her time. That wasn't true.

"I'm sorry... I will try harder..." I trailed off, there was something wrong with Saga, something more than her just having a bad day but I didn't know what that could be. I put my head down and started to write out my homework quicker. But it was bugging me, I wanted to know how I could find out what was wrong and then try and help.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I hated being mean; I'd left that side to me behind a long while back, yet still it made itself come to the surface on occasion. I didn't have anything to say in answer to him so I just stood there and looked out of the window. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed him get back to work and I relaxed a little. Maybe he'd actually do something and do it well for the first time in weeks, and just maybe, it wouldn't take him ages to finish. (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I was conscience of the fact that she was waiting for me to finish but also that she would want me to have done it really neatly. I didn't know how I could be both quick and neat. I tried to focus more on being neat but not spend so much time doing it slowly. I really wanted Saga to be pleased with what I had done.

It still took me a long while to finish up and I didn't know how neat Saga would think that it was, but I'd tried my best. "I'm done..." I said a little uncertainly in case she wasn't happy.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. My attention was drawn back to him as I looked over slowly. My eyes were unfocused so it took me a while to figure out what he was actually referring to. Then I remembered. I stiffly walked over to stand behind him and checked his work. I put a hand on his shoulder, trying to make up for my rude attitude. "A lot better. Now, who knew you could produce something like that?" I laughed a little. "So, that's done. What else have you got? Or did you want to read?" (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

It felt odd when Saga touched me, but not in a bad way. I needed to stop thinking about that and focus. I smiled at her compliment but her laugh was strained. There was definitely something wrong.

I had a feeling that this would be a bad idea but I was going to find out what. I turned round to face Saga and shook my head. "no, I've got nothing... but before i read. Tell me what's wrong? Please? I want to help?" I said bluntly, perhaps a little too bluntly though. I hoped not.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I stood there and stared at him. I had no idea how to respond to him except to stand there and look blank. I shook my head a little and regained my composure. "Nothings the matter Ash. I had a bad day and that's all. We're all allowed bad days from time to time. So just leave it at that okay." I could tell he wouldn't leave it so I tried something more. "Plus, you're here to learn, not to hear me tell stories. So find something and do it." Suddenly I was thirsty. I shouldn't have poured my drink away. I walked up to the sink and poured myself another, but whilst my back was turned I head his chair move. He was relentless. {OOC: Nearly there!} (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

I couldn't just accept what Saga said. It didn't seem right. There must have been something that had caused her to have a bad day. Had she been beaten up and not told me? I needed to find out, I wanted to look out for Saga.

I stood up and followed her over to the sink. "Saga why are you having a bad day?" I asked, more assertively this time. I was going to find out and then I was going to help. She was my friend.

(OOC: Yay! Hehe)

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I could feel him standing right behind me, not giving me any space to breathe. I gripped the side of the sink and bowed my head as this morning's episode came back to me. Through gritted teeth I managed to say, "Just leave it. All it is is a bad day. That's all Ash. That's all it ever is with me okay? So just leave it. Please... As a friend, please just leave it be." I felt anger welling up inside of me, but I could feel it being uncertain as to whether is was going to turn into physical anger, me crying or a mixture. I never really knew. The tipping point was when I felt one of his hands slide across my shoulder. He'd never touched my before... (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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[Deleted]

Being tough is only a facade,

but it's become a facade that acts like my personality.

It struck me, what Saga said. There was something seriously wrong, I could hear it in her voice. I wanted desperately to be able to help her. To try and sort this out. I instinctively reached out to her, without really thinking about what I was doing. It just felt like the right thing.

"Saga... please? I can help..." I said softly.

[Lotus]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: C0C0C0, width: 400px; height: 300px;] Fitting into a crowd is a challenge... But the outside is even more so...I am who I am and I chose the outside. I spun round to face him just as a tear rolled down my cheek. I felt my voice naturally rise as I tried to say, "You don't know anything about me or my life Ash! You just know I'm some girl you used to train with. Some girl that helps you. Some girl that you can be the hero around 'cause she can't help being beaten up! Well you know what, I'm more than that Ash. I can be so much more. I have so much going on and you don't even realise. We might be friends but you don't know me, not at all. So don't you dare try and get me to talk! Don't you dare!" I looked away from him then. Feeling the anger welling up in me and the hurt rising up to counteract it. I saw him try to say something, and not that it would stop him I said, "Just don't..." (c) what the stark ?! of rpg-d

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