Not So Lonely Anymore (Jaeger)

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

It was nearing sundown when Astraia finally left the nursing home her mother had lived in for the past couple of years, and her mood had plummeted from the visit. After the turmoil her family had gone through ever since she was eleven, Astra had never really recovered but it had definitely taken the biggest toll on her mother. Just like all her other visits, her mother didn't recognise her but constantly asked where she was, and if that didn't hurt her then her mother asking for her father and brother was even worse. It just brought back old, nasty memories that she didn't want to go through again. They tormented her enough as it was.

Astraia looked up at the pink and orange sky, sighing and blinking back tears as the sunset she could see in the distance calmed her. She walked out of the gates of the nursing home and smiled when she heard the deep bark of her only companion that stuck by her and seemed to genuinely like her. She unhooked his lead from the fence and gave him a scratch behind the ear, to which his tail wagged enthusiastically. "Come on Bear, let's head home."

As she headed home, she passed by her favourite thinking point and decided to detour there before actually heading home. Bear didn't seem to have any objections either as it gave him a perfect opportunity to run free for a little while. She headed up the hill and brushed out her dress before sitting down and bringing her knees up so she could place her chin on them. Luckily she'd had an early finish at work, meaning she had had time to go home and change into one of her floral dresses to try and cheer her up when visiting her mother. Some days it worked, other days it didn't and today was one of those latter days. Especially when tomorrow was her birthday.

She shivered at the thought of her birthday, and day that was supposed to make the person feel special, but it just made her want to stay under the covers of her bed and cry the day away. Her birthday was no longer a day she celebrated, especially seeing as she had no one to spend it with either. Unfortunately, tomorrow was one of her rare days off from her job as a system analysis which just meant the likelihood of her staying in bed all day was higher. At least if she had to go to work, it would mean her mind would be taken of the gloom that shrouded the day of the 1^st October.

Wrapping her cardigan around her tighter, she sighed softly as Bear bounded up to her and laid across her feet; whining as if he understood the pain Astra was going through. She reached down and scratched him behind hiss ears, bringing comfort to the both of them. She turned her head slightly to watch as the sun made it's final descent behind the factories of her 'home' before deciding it was time to go home - she didn't want it getting too dark before she made it into the safe confines of her home. As she started moving Bear shot to his feet, waiting for his lead to be clipped back on, but before Astra had a chance to attach it to his collar Bear spotted something and she knew what was going to happen.

Bear bolted after whatever he'd seen, probably a bird or squirrel seeing as those were his two weaknesses and no matter what Astra did she could never control him in their presence. She sighed before chasing after him and shouting his name, trying to get his attention back on her. It wasn't exactly going well, seeing as she kept losing sight of Bear as he bounded round the trees scattered at the bottom of the hill and Astra tried to gracefully run down the hill. She sighed at the bottom and tried to look for Bear, hearing his barks a little way off.

"God damn you Bear. Come back!" At this rate her shouting would gain the attention of others and she didn't want that, especially when she was nervous enough as it was as the day fully started turning in to night.

[jaeger]

~Leon Kiskane~

As the sun disappears from my sight, I walk along the empty paths that make up district 5 with no particular intentions about me, nor any shoes now that i think about it. I look down and i notice my feet are bare but i don't react. My house was only a minute or two away anyway, it wasn't like anything could happen that I wouldn't be able to fix.

My house... it's surreal to think of it like that now. It IS my house, but not so very long ago it belonged to one of the more despised of the town, the peacekeepers. in particular, my father- well, adoptive father- Dale Kiskane. He'd been a pleasant man in an unpleasant line of work and it always surprises me how much i miss him, even if we weren't technically related.

I shake my head of these thoughts as i feel my eyes begin to ache. I'm exhausted, but i know i can push my body harder. I know that i can walk as long as i want, maybe run even, and yet i feel as if i should just lay right here, in the centre of the road, and let the world go...

My eyes snap open when i hear a noise, a barking? My head turns to see it's origin and what i can only assume is it's owner, a girl who I'd never seen before. She was pretty enough, but this was hardly the time for thinking like that. As i turn away from the two, the noise suddenly gets much louder while accompanied with a sharp "Come back!" from the dog's owner. I look back again and the dog is on me, mere milliseconds of reaction making little difference as i fall to the floor in collision with the animal.

I try to stay calm but a small yelp of surprise escapes my lips. In sheer embarrassment, i keep my face from the girl as i try to regain my composure.

(i hope that's ok, i'm really sorry about the late reply. please don't hate me? )

[Lotus]

(OOC:As you wrote in first person, I'll switch so it flows easier!)

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

I knew what was coming as soon as I saw the direction Bear was running in, straight towards a complete stranger as the sky was turning dark. It's just my luck really. I pick up my pace as I see Bear knock over the stranger, and I can't help but feel nervous as I approach them despite knowing I'm going to have to apologise profusely. Even though I can tell the stranger is a man, hearing him yelp from Bear's actions someone calm my nerves a little bit because it seems he's less likely to angry at me. Unfortunately for me I see Bear giving the stranger's face a big, wet lick and my nerves kick right back in because it's one thing being knocked over by a massive, hairy beast but another being grossly licked by him; even I don't particularly like it when Bear gets overly affectionate.

Reaching the two I feel flustered as I grab Bear by his collar and pull him off the man. It's a hefty task with how much Bear weighs but I manage it and clip his lead back on to his collar and hold him on a short lead. My cheeks flare up as I see the man standing up but it seems as if he's avoiding me too; but then again my dog did just run him down.

"I-I..." I clear my throat. "I'm sorry for Bear. He started chasing a squirrel before I could clip his lead back on. Are you hurt?"

I feel my face heating up further, knowing that even in the darkening streets my cheeks will look bright red. I glance up at the man and am slightly shocked by how good looking he is, but with the gloom I can't see any specific features. I can still see that he's looking away from me, and I feel even worse that he can't look me in the eye.

"I, I really am sorry."

(OOC:Of course I don't hate you - it was a fabulous reply!)

[jaeger]

As I regain my composure, i hear her voice before i turn to face her. With a light cough, I smile.
"Yes, i'm ok."

I look back at the dog. She called it bear and in this lack of light, I can see the resemblance. It was a big dog after all, nowhere near the size of an actual bear but frankly, I don't think anybody around here has ever actually seen a bear in real life, that was what the fences were for after all.

"I understand, my father had a dog a long time ago, though i don't really remember much of him." With a light smile, I look back up at her and realize quickly just how late it is.

"Besides, shouldn't you be at home by now? I thought curfew was in effect by now." With a quick glance around, I notice that there are no peacekeepers anywhere -other than myself, of course but i'm off duty. It seems that curfew really doesn't matter when there's nobody around to enforce it. Besides, she seemed nice enough anyway so now I feel a little bit harsh for even saying anything...

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

Despite him just having talked, I completely forget what he says about having a dog or liking dogs when he looks up at me. Up until now I haven't managed to fully see his face, but when he smiles, despite the darkening night, he sort of takes my breath away. But I know now to never get my hopes up about anything, so I instead start paying attention to what he's saying again.

When he talks about curfew I suddenly become flustered and worried, looking around and noticing just how dark and late it has become whilst sitting thinking on the hill before chasing after Bear. I nod my head shakily, knowing terror is showing in my eyes before backing away slightly.

"Um, yes... I-I uh, I should be home by now. Thank you for reminding me of the time." I know I stammered and I know my eyes are constantly looking around the area in fright, but for no real reason other than getting caught by someone less than lovely. I look back at his face and force a soft smile on my face before backing away again, tugging at Bear's lead but he doesn't seem to want to move.

"Bear. C'mon." I whisper under my breath, trying to not make a fool out of myself in front of this stranger that just so happens to be wandering around as the night darkens. The thought makes me shiver even though I know not everyone that wanders round the district late at night has bad intentions, because they could be just like me after all. Before leaving I make a point of looking back up to the stranger, "I'm sorry again for Bear running you down."

[jaeger]

>~Leon Kiskane~<

My composure now regained, I take the more sensible approach as I notice the sheer embarassment I've just put her under.

"I.. I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Leon. I'm sorry about that, I just got off work and it's hard not to be a little bit erm..."
I hesitate for the right word, hoping not to scare her off. I don't think she realises i'm a peacekeeper- and frankly, i'm glad. It's not the easiest job to gain friends from. After all, nobody's gonna go out for drinks with the guy that's meant to be imposing the alchohol ban.
"..tetchy. Anyway, sometimes there are dangerous people out in the dark. Maybe I should walk you home, just to make sure you get there safely, miss...?" I stop to let her make the decision as to whether she wants to trust me. After all, I could just as likely be one of those dangerous people...

..and to some, I guess I am the bad guy.

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

If I was being truly honest, I was shocked at his slight change in attitude and shocked that there was someone kind enough out there still to offer to walk someone like me home. A strange, fuzzy feeling settle itself inside my chest the longer I spent around this man, and I was starting to very much enjoy that feeling. So I decided to go with it, just this one time.

"I-It's Astraia, but just call me Astra; everyone else does." I scolded myself for stuttering, but I hoped the embarrassment at stuttering wasn't too visible on my face in the dark night. "And to walking me home? That would be lovely...Leon." I had this strange feeling shoot through me when I said his name, but just like that warm, fuzzy feeling I wanted more of it.

I smile softly at him and grab Bear's lead tighter; just in case, "My home is this way..." I state softly before I start of walking, trying to get Bear to walk properly because he doesn't seem to like the idea all too much of leaving Leon behind.

[jaeger]

I nod, thankful of the break in silence as I try to calm my mind. She's an attractive girl, this Astra, but that doesn't suddenly mean i should get my hopes up. There's a reason the only people a peacekeeper really makes friends with is another peacekeeper. So with a polite smile, I try to hold back my thoughts and feelings while we walk.

"So do tell, Astra... What do you do around here? I can't say i've noticed you day to day but that's partially because i don't really get around town much."

Mostly just to avoid the stares

It's not like i couldn't handle them, but they wore away at me. The thought that the entire town despises you for doing your job hurts, now more than ever. As I walk with her, I notice her dog walking almost in synch with us, looking up at me with one of those big tongues that seems to get slobber everywhere. I smile.

Well, at least the dog likes me.

(i'm sorry it's short, couldn't get too much muse together but i will try and get better )

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

Somehow, despite never meeting Leon before, I feel comfortable with him by my side as he walks me home. It's a strange feeling, but just like the fuzzy feeling from before, I like it; especially when he said my name. Especially that moment, it sent a shiver through my back and I just hoped he didn't notice.

"I'm a System Analyst, so you probably wouldn't see me walking round too much because I'm pretty much stuck behind screens and a desk all day." I smile softly in his direction, really feeling like I can talk to Leon easily. Even Bear seems to be enjoying the company by the way he walks close to me and continually looks up at Leon with his goofy looking face. "What about you Leon? What's your job around these parts?"

We continue walking, and I turn one of the corners of a street and Leon follows pretty much in sync with my steps. I keep glancing around at the ever-darkening night and shudder; the cold getting to me a little as well as my fear. I pull on Bear's lead tighter and he seems to understand as his steps become more alert and he sticks closer to my side; his fur brushing my leg in comfort.

(That's okay! It was perfect - mine wasn't too long either )

[jaeger]

My mind hesitates as I open my mouth to say it. She doesn't know i'm a peacekeeper...

That explains a lot actually, as I smile. "I work in security, nothing too special really just very good at keeping everyone safe and all, you know." As my lie seeps from my tongue, I feel a pang of guilt that i'd lie to this girl. But of course i have to, if she knew who i really was then she wouldn't be this friendly.

I notice her begin to tense as i look around. It's dark around here, really dark, and honestly I see why she would be so worried. Complete silence envelopes the night and nothing, save for the light panting of her dog and the faint sound of boots on concrete. I hope my talk of security maybe helps calm her mind but something tells me it didn't...

I let out a light breath and attempt to look reassuring as i scratch my index finger with my middle finger, less worried about what could be in the dark as much as what's awaiting me when i get back home...

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

I smile softly at his answer, he seemed like someone that would work in security with the way he was so at ease to be out wandering the night. "Does that mean you're security in one of the factories? Or somewhere else?" I thought briefly before saying the next part, but people needed to be told nice things about themselves once in a while by a complete stranger; and in this day and life, something like that happening rarely occurs. "I'm sure anyone that's under your care will feel incredibly safe."

Wandering the streets at any time of day seems to put me out of my comfort zone, but now during the night I'm even more jittery. Yet with Leon walking beside me I feel as if I'm as safe as I ever could be; and not only because he told me he worked in security. Of course that helped, but he just seems to have a comforting feel about him.

Turning the last corner onto my street, I sigh as I see my old family home that is now empty with only myself inhabiting it. I move closer to Leon's side, subconsciously wanting to be closer to him despite him being a total stranger. As I near my front door my steps falter because I'm not entirely sure I want Leon to leave my side, or myself to leave his.

[jaeger]

"Yeah... something like that." My smile is convincing enough, I hope. While we walk, I feel a sense of calm brush over me as the night comes about us. I can't explain it, but the quiet... It's nice.

I hear her sigh when we reach her house. "Home sweet home, right?" I understand. Her home... it's dead quiet. I see her steps begin to falter and i think. She's alone... like me. Well, not entirely.

"Everything ok?" I smile reassuringly, wondering on if it would be too forward to make sure she settles. After all, I know the trouble of living in an empty home. Years and years pass and yet nothing changes, save for the dust and the cobwebs. I wait to see her go into her house, then and only then will i turn my back. Just to be sure she's safe.

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

I didn't want to leave Leon's side. He brought a sense of calm over myself and made me forget the horrible mood I've been in after visiting my mother. He somehow seemed to make things feel okay.

"Y-Yeah, everything's fine." I mumbled softly before stepping away from him. Bear was still on high alert, despite knowing we were 'home' and for that I was thankful. Despite losing the plot when seeing squirrel's, he was still a fairly good guard dog and companion. Looking up at my 'home' now, I really didn't want to go inside alone, but I had only just met this Leon; he was still a stranger that had been kind enough to walk me home. I sighed before heading towards the steps.

I turned round to thank Leon, thank him for being so kind when the night had been darkening. Yet what came out of my mouth was what my subconscious and heart wanted me to say, rather than what my head should've made me say. "Would you l-like to come in for some dinner? It would be nice to share it with someone other than Bear once in a while." After the words had left my lips I knew it was true, I knew I didn't want Leon walking away forever.

[jaeger]

I had turned my head when she spoke and, almost instantly, a smile crept up on my face.

I turned back to her and nodded. "Sure, why not? I ain't got anywhere to be, after all." I walked back towards her, suddenly realising my night would porbably be a much more positive one.

Other than bear... she is like me. She's completely alone herself, I thought as I begin to make my way into her home.
"You know, considering the fact that we've probably shared barely an hour together, I feel i ought to say thank you for having me round."
As I begin to take my jacket off, I look around the place. It seemed so familiar to me, not the house itself but the feelings I get from here. It is so clear the sheer amount of silence this home has become accustomed to.

"..And also that if I can help out with this dinner you're offering, just say the word, because I'm afraid I can't let you do all the work for this food when i'm going to be eating it too."

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

I instantly smiled as soon as he agreed, whilst also being slightly shocked at the fact too. Letting him into my home didn't feel weird at all, in fact it felt nice to be able to invite someone in after years upon years of the house being empty. I took Leon's jacket from his hands and hung it up with my own after letting Bear off his lead, and slipping off my shoes. I flicked on the lights on in the hall just as Bear bounded down the hallway and into the kitchen where his bowl and water are.

My smile widened at what he had to say, but I shook my head nonetheless. "Of course you're not helping make dinner. You walked me home and are keeping me company this evening, so it's the least I can do to make you dinner." I start walking down the hallway in the direction of the kitchen, knowing Leon would follow me, and switched the lights on to see Bear waiting patiently by his food bowl.

"What do you fancy?" I feel my cheeks flush a little, feeling slightly awkward now that he was in my house expecting me to feed him. It was something I'd never had to do before; always worrying about my mum in the home I'd never really managed to live my own life. Just the thought of my mum made all the memories of my family come back to haunt me as my eyes flicker to the calendar on the fridge, reminding me of the horrid day that is tomorrow. My birthday.

I clear my throat a little and smile softly. "Whatever you want, I'll do my best to cook it for you."

[jaeger]

As she walks into the kitchen, I follow her.

"Whatever I want? well, that's kind of a grey area because i usually eat at, like..." My thoughts trail away as I watch her. It's weird... she seems so comfortable around me. Sure, she doesn't know about me. But even the fellow peacekeepers and the people I'd called friends all these years weren't as comfortable with me as this girl seemed to be.

"erm.. early hours."

I can't help but shy a little as I refrain from moving too close while she moves around the kitchen. "So how about you choose and I help?" I ignore her comment about not letting me help. Surely she knows that I can't just expect her to cook a meal for me?

Besides, I'd take any excuse to keep myself busy. At least when i'm busy, i won't embarass myself... i hope...

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

I'm slightly confused by his answer at eating in the early hours, wondering what it meant exactly. Did it just mean he ate breakfast really early because he was an early riser and then ate nothing the rest of the day? Or did it mean he always went to bed late and ate really late that way? I shook my head a little, not truly understanding before I nodded my head at what he said instead. "W-Well..." Why was I stuttering?

"Well, I was planning on making myself a chicken pasta dish this evening? That's all I really have ingredients for at the moment because I haven't been shopping yet." I smile softly at Leon, hoping to see any sign that what I'm making is going to be okay. When I don't hear much of an objection I start getting the ingredients out of the fridge and cupboards. If he does suddenly change his mind and he doesn't like chicken or pasta then I can try and rummage something else up for him; it won't be too hard hopefully.

Getting the things I need from the cupboards keeps taking me closer to Leon, and I can't help the red hue that colours my cheeks at how close I keep getting to him. I don't know whether it's because I'm socialising with someone other than my mother and work colleagues, or the fact he's a man and I'e had very little interaction with anyone of the opposite sex. "But no helping okay. Just stand there or sit down okay?" I realised I sounded a little bossy but I couldn't help it, it just doesn't feel right to let him help cook as well when he walked me home at night to make sure I was safe. I sigh softly, a small smile on my lips, "It's not right to let you help. Let me treat you okay? As a thank you?"

[jaeger]

With a smile, i shake my head.

"Well, if you insist, ma'am." I smile a little as I sit, watching her move about the kitchen. She had a sort of elegance to her movement, something that I hadn't really seen in a person since childhood. Granted, everybody I'd spent my time with hardly needed to be elegant in their day to day business. But watching her move gave this feeling of relaxation to me. I couldn't explain it if I tried, heck I don't think I even understand it myself.

"But not as a thank you, okay? I chose to walk you home, you don't owe me anything." I speak with an attempt at reassuring her of this as I choose to relax into my seat. I wonder if she'd notice if I find some way to help out, I think as I spy the cupboard with the plates. Granted she told me not to, but idle hands, especially my own, are not fun to deal with.

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

I couldn't help but giggle slightly at his response to my telling him to sit down, and my cheeks flushed bright red when I realised what I'd done. Despite that though, I couldn't help but smile at him. "Don't call me ma'am, it makes me sound old." Even then I couldn't stop the slight chuckle that left my lips.

I shrugged my shoulders at what he said about the thank you, knowing that whilst it was his choice to walk me him, he could have chosen not to. He still chose to walk me home, and that in itself deserved a thank you of some kind. As I start getting the food prepared, I keep glancing back at where Leon sits in his chair looking more than relaxed. It feels nice that he can be so relaxed in my home, making myself relax even more around him. During my watching him as I prepare dinner, I can keep seeing him staring at the open cupboard with the plates in and I spin around, wooden spoon in my hand, "Stop staring at the cupboard. I don't want you moving from that chair until dinner is over with okay? Let me do this for you. So no touching the plates."

As he stared at me, I felt my face flush bright red all over again, and I spun back around to the counter. I grip the edge of his, trying to calm myself down before getting back to preparing the meal.

Around forty-five minutes later dinner is ready to be served up, and even to my nose it smells good because for once I'd put effort in to what I was making. I had a guest after all. And a very good looking guest at that.

[jaeger]

"Whatever you say..." I cut myself off with a slight smile as she chuckles.

This house feels like my own home...

As I glance around the place, I stop to look at her every now and then and I see something... I don't know what it is but something that makes me feel so happy again..

I snap out of it as she stares back at me, a slight surprise on my face as she threatens me with a spoon. "You're gonna hit me with a spoon?" I laugh a little as I regain my composure again, looking into her eyes before she turns away again.

"Smells delicious... but also means I owe you a meal soon, too you know that right?" As she dishes up, I take in the smell and can't help but grin. It smells delicious, infinitely better than anything I have had for years.

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

His comment about the spoon was what had initially made me turn around and hide the embarrassment that spread across my face, but once the food was ready my embarrassment had died down and I was ready to properly face Leon again. I smile at his compliment about the food, glad that even to him it smells good and it's not just myself that thinks so. I feel relief flood me as I dish it up and place a plate in front of him.

"Well, I hope you enjoy it." I sit down adjacent to Leon, placing a napkin across my lap and think about his proposal. It was funny that all of a sudden something like this was happening to me. At long last I seemed to be starting to get a little bit of my own social life; even if it was just for the evening and Leon never came through on his proposition of making dinner. "That would be nice Leon, thank you..."

I watch as Leon take a fork of pasta into his mouth, wanting to gage his reaction. I continue staring, confused by his facial expression slightly, and not eating until I know Leon will enjoy what I've put in front of him.

[jaeger]

Approval lights up my face as i give my cheesiest grin and my brightest eyes, hoping that'll convince her to relax a little.

"It's incredible! Haven't had anything this good since i was a kid!" I smile gently as I gauge her reaction, the food almost slipping from my mouth before i scoop it back with some rather skilled tongue-work and a fork.

"Must admit, I shoulda cooked first, because there is no way I can stand up to cooking from such a pro" I smile, my levels of relaxation maybe being a little too much in a home i have been in for less than an hour. But who cares, really? The food is delicious and she seems so shy that I figured I ought to try my best to make her feel at ease. At least, i hope that's what i'm doing...

[Lotus]

ASTRAIA BERNICE DENNEL

*************************************

I can't help the smile that spreads across my face when Leon says he likes my food. I wouldn't go quite so far as to say it was incredible, but the boost really did help me relax; which might have been what he was trying to do from the beginning. I know I'm nervous, and I really didn't want to be, but it was just the fact that someone else was now in my house besides myself and Bear. It's a big step, but somehow Leon makes it worth it.

"I'm glad you like it - makes me feel a lot better." I can't help the small giggle that escapes me afterwards, but I'm not entirely sure why it happened. There wasn't anything that funny going on. I sighed, I really was an awkward, shy person. "It's not that good that you need to worry about 'cooking up to standards', it's just pasta and I'm sure anything you cook will be just as lovely." I smile softly, hoping he gets the picture that just the thought of him cooking dinner for me, another evening like this, was enough.

I start eating my own pasta, enjoying the company as Bear lays down across my feet. I can't help but keep glancing at Leon as he munches away; my eyes somewhat drawn to him. I have been thinking a lot about what he said he did for a living; security. Being a systems analyst, I was incredibly observant so I knew he'd been lying when he said he was part of the security measure in one of the factories. Yet I can't understand why he would be so nervous as to tell someone what he did for a job - I knew the security part wasn't a lie, so it has to be the only other security position I can think of.

"So, what's being a Peacekeeper actually like....?" I ask softly, hoping not to scare him off.