The Help (Hero and Mai)

[Hero]

Clarkson Underton -- D10

He seemed to float between the book and his own thoughts. The words on the page could only hold his attentilm for so long. He thought about how maybe he would be in the street had he not gone back for Jess. He would still be disgusting. The room he was in now, was bigger than any house he had ever lived in. There was a shower connecting from the bedroom! He had never seen that before.

He heard the floorboards creaking, someone coming closer to his room. Jess, he thought. He felt hear rise a bit in his cheeks as she caught a view of his shirtless self. He put his book down, dog-earring the page. He pulled the door out and stood in the doorframe. "Don't worry. I'm decent."

[Lotus]

Jess turned her bright red face towards him and smiled shyly. He was still topless and it really wasn't helping her to calm the heat in her cheeks and the sweat forming on her palms. She was verging on being a nervous wreck in front of him and she could only do that in the comfort of her own room.

She followed him back into the room he was using and the light danced off the skin across his back. That's when she noticed the marks. The long lashes across his back. She had a sickening feeling in her stomach about what had happened to him and when he stopped at the bed to sit down she pulled up her sleeve so her fingertips could touch one of the scars. She saw him tense and flinch and she jumped backwards, eyes wide. "I'm sorry. I was curious, that's all." her gaze flickered down and she suddenly felt incredibly self conscious. She tugged at the hem of her t-shirt trying to pull it down lower.

"Can I ask how you got them? Or is that something you don't want to talk about?" She stayed where she was in the middle of the room, with her head down, pulling at her hem and her sleeves.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

He laughed a bit at her nervousness around him. Well, considering the circumstances. She must've seen plenty of men in the state he was in. Just maybe umm, he had no intention of taking advantage of her. At all. He wasn't that kind of person. And oddly enough, he felt strangely comfortable in his position. He was used to going with a shirt for weeks at a time. It wasn't a problem with him.

His problem began when she reached out at one of the scars along his back. Red flesh still stuck around the wound. That was the first time he had ever been beaten by his father. "Umm.. Don't worry. It's alright," he stuttered. He would rather not have been reminded if them but how would he explain it to her? He would be honest.

"My dad, wasn't exactly the nicest person. If I screwed up, he would do this." He walked up to her and stood face to face with her. He took her hand and guide her fingertip along the scar. "That was the first time I screwed up in his eyes." He half laughed, half smiled.

[Lotus]

Jess couldn't help but gasp at how close they suddenly were to each other and she felt a pang of pain in her stomach when he told her about the scar he trailed her fingertip along. She didn't understand how he was smiling about something like that. His father had hit him so much it had left a nasty scar, that wasn't something to laugh about. She knew that.

She looked up into his eyes and opened her mouth to try and speak but the closeness between them was making it hard for her to form a coherent sentence. She flickered her eyes away and swallowed over the lump forming in her throat. "I'm sorry..." She was sorry for so many things. That his father had had the audacity to hit him when she knew he was the type of person to have done nothing wrong. He made mistakes, everyone did. She was apologising for bringing it up in the first place. She should have accepted that this was him and he may not want to talk about it. She was sorry for hiding so many things from him, because even though he'd told her about the scars on his back she couldn't find it in her to slip off the hoodie covering her marred body.

She needed to tell him something though, so she turned her head to the side and reached for his hand. Her hand was shaking as she lifted it up to the side of her face where the light pink scar invaded her skin along her hairline. "That was when I got back from the Games and my father still felt the need to teach me a lesson..."

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

once he finished, he felt how close they really were. It didn't feel awkward exactly but considering he was half naked, it was a bit weird. No surprise there. Memories flooded his mind about how his father always thought he was never good enough. He was never worth anyone's time. "Do you know why I'm smiling?"

He left his mouth closed, in case she decided to say something. Maybe she had suffered the same thing. He doubted it but you know. Anyone could relate at some point. Most people in this district were underfed and under paid. We had all suffered abuse at some point. How they all took it was something else. And Clark just took it, no questions asked. "Don't be sorry. It isn't your fault."

He felt the scar in her hairline. "You didn't deserve that. Your dad should know that it's never okay to hit a woman."

[Lotus]

She felt his fingertips linger on her face longer than normal, but yet it felt natural and she was a little comforted by it. She finally flickered her gaze back up to meet his, "He didn't care about what was right or not. That's why I volunteered, but all the marks from before are gone..." She trailed off. Those marks just made it sound worse what she'd done. She only had a few from her father now, this time round they were all practically her.

She was getting used to standing so close to him and even though he didn't have a shirt on she was starting to feel comfortable, if she just didn't rake her gaze over him that was. "Why were you smiling then? It seems odd to smile about such a sad thing." She reached up one of her shaky hands, keeping her sleeve securely over her knuckles as she brushed a strand of his hair from his eyes. She watched his eyes as they watched her and she slowly felt the heat rising in her her cheeks again.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

He drew his hand away. He paced around the room before settling himself on the bed, book in his lap. He grabbed a small piece of paper and used it as a makeshift bookmark. Close to the door, the room held a desk which had plenty shelves for everything. He brought his bag over and out everything that wasn't clothes or bathroom necessities on it. "I could understand you wanting to get away from it. But why not just run away than spend your time fighting for your life?"

He looked over his shoulder back at her and shrugged. "It just makes it easier for me to talk about it I guess." He walked back over to her and took her hands in his. "It's almost midnight. How about we catch some sleep and talk about this in the morning?" He have a weak smile, hoping she would stay and still want to talk.

[Lotus]

Jess listened to what he had to say and she understood what he said about just running away rather than fighting for her life. She shook her head and opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words. It was a difficult story to explain. Instead she listened to what he had to say about him, it was far more interesting. "I guess if it works to help you along with it, then I could get used to seeing you smiling over weird things."

She smiled, but it faltered when his hands wrapped around hers. She took a deep breath and looked up to him nervously. She should be okay with this, she was sort of okay with him standing topless, so why did this make her heart stutter and her stomach flip? She sighed and looked back up to him. "I don't sleep much, but you can get some rest if you want." She pulled her hands from his and backed away a little. "I'll give you some privacy."

She was just about to turn around when she felt a pang of guilt shoot through her at ignoring his question before. "Fighting for my life was easier then letting my dad find me and kill me himself... But if I'd made a better decision, I wouldn't be this messed up and I'd still have a best friend..." She smiled sadly and shrugged.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

He put his hand behind his head. Now that he thought about, he has told that story many times. Most people had seen his emotions playing through it as he told it. And he would always get the same question, why do you smile at such a a sad thing? He would give them the same answer he had just given Jess, it made it all easier to think about. "You will. But at happy things? That really depends."

He brought his hand back to his side. He raised his eyebrow at her at the mention of not sleeping very much. "Why not?" He brought his thumb under her eye, careful not to jab her in the eyes. "You have dark circles under you eyes." He brought his hand to her cheek. "You need sleep."

[Lotus]

She smiled softly up at him and nodded her head. She understood what he meant when smiling about happy things; they were hard to come by. He was close again and it seemed like he was finding any excuse to touch her gently and make her feel that she wasn't alone. The strange thing was, this stranger was actually making her feel comfort for the first time since she'd come back home from the Games.

She shrugged her shoulders and subconsciously leant into his hand on her cheek, closing her eyes briefly before she looked back up at him. "Nightmares keep me awake and terrify me to try and sleep. The dark makes everything more alive..." She looked into his eyes and she saw worry etched into them. Maybe he really did care about her. "But it's okay. I sleep eventually. You on the other hand don't have to worry about me, so catch some shut eye if that's what you want to do." She reached up and wrapped her hand around his, pulling it from her face. She was gong to let go as soon as his hand was away from her face, but she kept a hold of it for some odd reason.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

He smiled at her. "Happy things are hard to come by." In that moment he realized that Jess was the happy thing he had been lucky enough to come by. His mother may have even one of them but she was dead. He hung his head for a second but recollected himself before she could see it.

He thought about that. Nightmares kept him awake as well but he had found enough time to sleep. "I know how you feel. Once I was old to understand that umm, my mom was dead, I pictured her every night." He held her hand and turned around, his back now to her. He led her hand down his back in the path of another long scar. "That's what my dad did to me after I was old enough to understand that my mom was dead."

[Lotus]

So Clark suffered from nightmares too, she would never have guessed. He looked to awake. She sighed and wanted to apologise and make him feel better but he was turning around. He trailed her finger across the scar on his back and she shuddered slightly, the memory of something like that happening to her being too vivid.

Slowly, he let go of her hand, but she kept her fingertips brushing lightly across the scar. The next thing she did surprised her. She'd taken a step forward and placed her lips to the middle of the scar. She took a step back and ducked her head, "I'm sorry..." She hadn't meant to kiss him, it just felt right. She didn't have any choice now so she sighed and took another step back. "I have something to show you..."

She pulled at the sleeves of her hoodie, pulling her arm out. She lifted the hoodie over her head and dropped it to the floor. She ducked her head down as she saw his eyes widen. He was appalled and so he should be.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

There was something that he never wanted admit to anyone. He didn't plan to tell Jess that his mother was dead. But when he told her, the brutal reality of it hit him. He always ways knew that his mom died giving birth, but he had never really stopped to think about it.

He felt her fingers still on his back. When her lips met the scar, he tensed up a bit. He turned back to her. "Don't worry about it. No harm no foul, right?" He paused as she took off her hoodie and revealed the scars, cuts and marks. Slowly, he reached for her arms and held them, trying not to hurt her. "Why didn't you say anything? You could've told me. You know that."

[Lotus]

Jess kept her head ducked down when he came closer and her whole body tensed, her toes curling as she tried to keep calm. She'd never done this before. She'd never willingly told anyone about it. Her brother had found out by chance in the first couple of weeks of her being back home. He'd ignored her for a month after that and she'd only gotten worse. Eventually he came back, apologising and what could she do? She forgave him, they were family and she loved him with all her heart. But never has she done what she just did for Clark.

She felt tears in her eyes and she tried to blink them away. "I-I..." How was she supposed to explain something like this? "I thought may-be you'd... I don't know... Be disgusted, or something, appalled... Then walk away..." A lone tear slid down her cheek as she tried to continue. "I didn't want you walking away." Now she just sounded selfish and what else was he going to do now other than walk away? If her own brother walked away from her to start with then surely Clark would too.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

He dropped his hand back to his side and pulled her into gentle hug. He tried to tell her he understood but he couldn't find the right words to anything. So he figured, when someone is upset, just hug them. That'll say everything you can't. "I understand. I really do." He pulled away but kept her close.

He scoffed at her. Walking away? How could he? "I would never. You don't deserve to be walked away from. It isn't fair to you " He wiped the tear away. "I won't leave. I promise." He pulled into a hug once more. "Promise."

[Lotus]

Jess felt comforted in his strong embrace and his words made her stomach twist and her heart to start pounding in her chest. How did he evoke such feelings in her? She shook her head as she looked up to him. She didn't understand why he wouldn't walk away. She'd known him less than a day, but she'd known her brother her whole life; yet her family had walked away and he was willing to stay. She was confused by the whole idea of sticking around.

"You'd stay?" She said in disbelief. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against the bare skin of his chest. Shivers ran through her body but she tried to ignore them. She wanted to hide her body from him and if she couldn't reached her hoodie, being closer meant he couldn't see all of her. Strange logic, but in her mind it worked. "You'd stay even though I'm not who I'm supposed to be? Someone that's not who they're all cracked up to be? Why do you want to stay when you're just going to look at me and be turned off by the way I look..." She felt another lone tear slide down her cheek.

Despite not wanting to feel things for him, she did. She cared for him and it would rip her in two if she thought he'd ever look at her and never want to know her more because of what she'd done to herself. This time it would be her own fault that she was miserable. She didn't know if she could bare losing another friend.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

He didn't bother trying to explain himself. He knew that he really couldn't. He had no real idea why he had stayed for her. For her. That's why he stayed. That's the reason why he held on. "If you don't mind my asking, what happened when your brother found out?"

He knew he was treading on dangerous land. He knew that her brother was the only one she had willingly told about her scars. Well, not the only one. But still. "Why wouldn't I stay?" He pulled away and shrugged. He walked over and say on the bed. He patted the place next to him for her to sit down. "Yes I would stay. All the cuts and scars aren't a reason for me to leave. When you want me to leave or you give me a legitamate reason not to, then I will. But until then, I'll accept you just the way you are."

He smiled up at her. He found it a bit strange that she had invited him to stay with her, in her house, even though they barely knew each other. He wasn't about to question it. He didnt want to lose this. It was better than sleeping on a street corner somewhere. Anywhere for the matter. "Why did you let me stay here? Even if you barely know me? I just never understood that." He looked down at the ground, awaiting her answer.

[Lotus]

Jess looked up to him wide eyed under her hair from where she'd let it fall into her eyes. How did he know her brother knew about her? Was she that obvious? She shook her head and walked to the bed before slowly sitting down next to him. She sat as close as possible without it seeming weird. She glanced at him before bringing her knees up and hiding her arms from him. "He... He walked away from me the moment he found out and didn't come back for a month..." She looked away and shook her head, trying to forget the memory. "That's why I thought you'd want to leave..."

She was a little shocked at his neck question to that she looked right at him, even though he was ducking his head away from her. She reached out a shaky hand and entwined her fingers with his. Did she really have an answer to this? "If I'm honest? I don't really know. I guess..." She trailed off and waited for him to try and looked at her. When he didn't she sighed and carried on. "I guess I felt something when you tried to talk to me. You made me feel like the person I used to be rather than the thing I am now. You wanted to be around me, I think... Despite how I acted I enjoying your company and when I learnt of where you'd been staying I couldn't let someone like you go back to that way when I have more than enough room." She smiled softly and swallowed over the lump forming in her throat at the terror of saying what she had to say next.

"Then, you kissed me." His head shot right up. "You kissed me and I wasn't about to let you go..." This time it was her to look away and hide under her hair.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

He looked at her, talking about her brother seemed hard. Then he thought back to his mom. It had always been hard. Who had known that his mom would be dead? A lot of people had dead moms and dads that blamed them. He was just another number. Many others had his story. Many others were dealing with what he was. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into him. "I'm sorry. But if its any consolation, he came back. He cares about you. But I care about you too. Maybe more that you own brother."

He smiled at his own stupidity. He shouldn't have even bothered. Slowly, he stood and walked around the room. When he got bored of staring at the floor he moved toward the farther end of the bed. He sat on a stack of pillows, the linen soft beneath his legs. He smiled at her. "I guess I was the same way. My dad always had me working and so I never really had time for anything, or anyone else. And then you seemed to give it a shot so I thought it would be fair if I did the same. Right?" He sighed. A thing? No. She is not a 'thing'. "Jess, you aren't a thing. You're a person. Yeah. Some things happened but that doesn't change the fact that you're human." He trailed off and ended his rambling.

"Yeah." He laughed some. "Maybe that wasn't my best choice today."

[Lotus]

Jess listened to everything he had to say. He cared about her and that made her insides feel warm and complete. That's all she had needed to hear; that someone cared other than her brother. It gave her hope that she wasn't a completely lost cause and she could have a life again. She could come back, as it seems, from the living dead. She wanted to tell him how much she felt she cared for him in such a short space of time, yet she couldn't find the words. It was like what he said had caused all her normal functions to short out and she was left as a non-functioning mess.

She watched him pace the room and ignored everything he said about her, she didn't really want to pay attention to that part. But then what he said about the kiss felt like it had ripped her heart in two; she even flinched from his words. She slowly brought her gaze up to him and stood shakily up from the bed. "Maybe it wasn't one of your best choices...?" She half whispered, trying to keep the stupid tears from rolling down her cheeks. "Maybe you should think before you make them then..." With that she turned slowly and walked to his door.

Opening it to the landing she turned round slightly to say one last thing. "Goodnight Clarkson. I hope you're comfortable and I apologise for keeping you up so late." She couldn't bare to look him in the eye so she kept her gaze down and headed out on to the landing, going back to her room.

[Hero]

Clark Underton -- D10

She didn't say anything back to him. Why? He hoped he didn't say anything wrong. Odds are he did. He grabbed the book and laid it out in front of him, still standing. After a moment, he finally sat down. He studied the same page for a few minutes. The silence wasn't awkward but after a few more minutes, it became that way. He didn't know what to say, or if to really say anything at all.

He smiled down. "It wasn't my best but it was bound to happen at some point. At least we got that out of the way." He looked up at her and shrugged. He looked bak down and tried to turn the page, getting a paper cut in the process. "Damn," he whispered. He got up and searched around for anything that could b used as a bandage. He found a small one, tore the paper open, and wrapped it around his finger. When he looked up, he found his door open and Jess nearly gone. She was apologizing for keeping him up.

He looked at the clock. Midnight. They had spent about a half hour talking with each other. It was a good half hour though. "No problem. Thanks for being willing to offer me this place and talk with me. I really appreciate that." By the time he finished, she was gone. "Goodnight Jess!" He hoped she heard him. But he put the book on the nightstand, shut off the light, and put himself underneath the blankets. "Goodnight," he whispered.

[Lotus]

Jess only heard him call out goodnight, but she shut his voice out. He didn't realise how much what he had said about their kiss hurt. Did he do that to anyone he met just to get it out of the way so he knew he could never have extra feelings for them? Was that it? She shook her head as she opened her bedroom door. She closed it quietly behind her and sank down to the floor, her head in her hands. "How can you have been so stupid as to let your feelings run away with you Jess?" She whispered to herself. She shook her head and stood, heading over to her bed.

She heard a scratching at the door and realised Atlas wasn't with her. She sighed and went back over to her door, letting her in. As soon as Atlas wandered in, Jess closed her door tight shut and watched as her dog made herself comfortable. She wished she could be as comfortable as that, but she knew she wasn't getting a wink of sleep tonight. Okay, she may fall asleep due to complete exhaustion, but that's not what she wanted. She wanted a proper nights sleep with no nightmares and where she'd wake up refreshed in the morning. She didn't want to toss and turn any more and she definitely didn't want to wake up terrified for her life. She was sick of it.

Tucking herself under the covers, she stared at her ceiling before Atlas bounded onto her bed and made herself comfortable at her feet. It was going to be a long night. Her mind started replaying images of the Games and of her father, yet no matter how often she tried to shake them away they'd just come back worse. Eventually she ended up sitting up in bed, her fingernails digging into the cuts already on her wrist as she tried to calm her frantic heart rate down. She wanted this all to end. She didn't need any of this any more.

She needed to do something, so she walked to her bathroom and switched on the shower. Slipping off her clothes and relaxing under the water she felt her heart rate slow and her muscles relax. Soon she found herself sitting on the floor of the shower, letting the water pound on her head as she tried to clean off her wrist.

[Hero]

]
Clark Underton --- D10

Stupid. Worthless. Liar. The mean words filled his head. He heard his dad's voice behind them in his dreams. He didn't know hat it would ever mean, but he knew it was there. He forced himself awake into a panic. He sat up rather quickly. His breathing was labored and heavy. He laid back on his pillow, closed his eyes, and tried to slow his heart.

He read the clock on the nightstand. 1:34. He heard something running, water maybe. Jess must still be up, he thought. He didn't bother trying to talk to her now. He just wanted to be able to think, to sleep. He pulled himself out of bed and paced around for a bit. He walked to the door, opened it and looked around. A panic wavered in his mind. She can see me like this. She can't see me like this. He walked over to the staircase and say down about 2 or 3 steps down.

The silence became to much for him so he started humming a tune he wasn't really sure of. It was just something to keep him from thinking.

[Lotus]

Finally, Jess had had enough of being in the shower; she was relaxed as she ever would be. Her mind was still reeling, but her muscles weren't so tense. Her arm had washed clean. The only thing she wanted was sleep, but she wasn't exhausted enough to try and close her eyes without paying too much attention to the images that would be played behind her closed lids.

Stepping out, she wrapped herself in a towel before walking back into her bedroom and slipping into clean night wear. She slipped on a pair of black shorts with a long-sleeved grey t-shirt. She'd left her favourite hoodie in Clark's room, so she needed to cover up somehow; especially the new mess on her arm. The thought of Clark brought tears to her eyes but she sniffed and wiped them away before they could fall. She was still hurt by what he said, but realising now that he probably hadn't even realised what he'd said.

She sat down on the edge of her bed, Atlas still sound asleep by her hand. She sighed but then her ears pricked up at the slightest sound; the Games did that to someone. She heard humming and it was coming from outside her bedroom door. Surely Clark was asleep. She shook her head softly and walked over, opening her door so she could see through a tiny crack. She couldn't really see much and turned her head to look back at her clock. 1:50. Nearly two o'clock in the morning and she hadn't slept a wink. She hated it.

Stepping out onto the landing she heard the humming become increasingly louder with every step she took towards the stairs. She started a little when she saw a figure sitting on the steps, but she soon knew it was Clark, but why he was sitting on the stairs, humming, at nearly two o'clock in the morning was beyond her. Her silent feet led her to the top stair and she sat down quietly, listening to the quiet melody. She rested her head against the banister and looked into the darkness around her home. This was her life, and she wondered if Clark would start to hate it and leave her.

[Hero]

Clark Underton --- D10

He didn't necessarily need to know she was behind him. He knew that at some point, she would find him. Maybe he would explain everything to her. Maybe he would just let it be. He had offended her. Maybe if he hadn't, then they would still be on good terms. In reality, she probably wanted him out.

He kept humming, though it was gradually getting softer. He was lost time. He was there. Jess was probably there. He heard the tune. But it was like he was on another planet. Suddenly, he stopped the tune. Silence fell over the two of them like a blanket. It wasn't awkward considering he barely noticed her presence. But it was a bit unnerving. Like something was wrong. He just couldn't seem to figure out what.

He stood, not looking behind him. He slowly walked down the stairs, careful not to make a stair creak. He walked across the downstairs and looked around. It was only nothing. Maybe he was just paranoid. This was a change of environment for him. Did it do that to people? He sat on the couch when he felt something metal pressed against his head. The barrel of a gun, he thought. He felt hot breath against his ear. "Run and you die."