Changing Our Ways (KIRA)

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I was happy and rather content. I was pleased that the photos had ceased for Saga's sake. I hated seeing her distressed like she had been. I'd been just as pleased when I was able to actually start eating the cake. It was really good and I made a point of telling her mum that. I wanted her parents to like me and think me polite. I wasn't going to give them reason to want to get rid of me.

I rested back in the sofa and let myself stroke her hair absently whilst eating the cake with the other hand. Once I had finished I lent down and kissed Saga on the lips again. I was still being really gentle.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I finished my cake and reached over to put it on the little glass table in the living, surprisingly one that my father had designed. I stroked Hope absentmindedly and leaned into the feeling of Ash's hand on my head. Then he leant down and kissed me again, lightly. I responded and when I pulled away I smiled softly up at him.

Then I turned to my mum just as I let out a yawn. "Can we see our new room yet?"

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I smiled as Saga yawned. I was starting to feel tired myself. Being hospital had made me weak and I tired a lot quicker. I also didn't eat as much as I had done before. But I would need to if I wanted to build my strength back up again. But I would need to talk to Saga about that first.

Her mum smiled at us, "Of course," she said and Saga sat up, scooping Hope up into her arms. I took hold of her hand and followed Saga's mum upstairs to our room. I realised as we went past the front door that at some point someone had taken up my bag of clothes that I had brought with me. I smiled at the thought of her parents being so nice in looking after me.

Her mum pushed open the door when we reached it and Saga preceded to step inside. Her mum followed but her dad touched my arm before entering. I turned to face him. "Yes sir?" I asked as politely as I could. He bent forward and said in a low voice, "Two single beds," He raised his eyebrows and I nodded my head in reply. It made me worry slightly to think that her dad still didn't fully trust me.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I stepped into my room on slightly unsteady legs. Everything seemed as it should and was exactly how I left it other than for the new bed that was in my room and a new cupboard and chest of drawers. My parents really had thought of everything.

Even in the corner was a little cat bed for Hope. I smiled and walked over to it, leaning down and placing her in it. She settled straight in and I stroked her behind the ear. I struggled to get back up, but stood straight, wobbling only a little. I walked back to my door and said, "Thank you. You truly are the best."

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I walked into the room. Deciding that it was probably best that I kept to myself what Saga's dad had said. I understood fully what he was implying about me and Saga but I was more than sure that that wouldn't become a possibility for a long while.

I smiled as I surveyed the room. It really did look nice and I could see that they had provided me with everything that I might need; a bed, a wardrobe, drawers. I would even have Saga nearby, even if I wouldn't be able to hold her at night in order to keep the bad dreams away. It just reinforced the fact that I would be happy here.

"Thank you," I said, repeating what Saga had said.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

Ash was in the middle of what was now our room and I smiled back at him. Then I half stumbled and ran into his arms, hugging him tight. I held him so tightly that my arms started to hurt quickly and I heard another click. I spun round, making my head spin and my feet slip, but his arms were around me quickly as I protested to my mum. Then I saw who had the camera.

"Daad! Nooo. I thought that was it..." I wiggled from out of Ash's arms and hid behind him, raising my voice to say, "No more!"

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

My heart stopped for a moment or two when Saga began to fall but then she was in my arms and I knew that she was safe. It seemed odd to me, how worried I had gotten and how quickly when it was just a stumble. I held her to me until I heard the click of the camera. I smiled ever so slightly so that she wouldn't see it even though I thought it was funny. I couldn't hold onto Saga much longer as she tried to hide.

I turned and looked at her dad and smiled before turning round and drawing Saga into my arms. I kissed her forehead. "Don't be so scared of the camera Saga, it's only trying to capture your beauty," I said softly. I rested my head on top of hers and buried my face into her hair. Keeping her close to me.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I shook my head into Ash's groaned and groaned; for the billionth time in less than a day. Stupid cameras! "I don't like that camera Ash. Someone smash it for me?" She looked up into his eyes, hopeful, but he just laughed at her. She stuck her tongue out and hid in his chest again.

The world hated her. It was official!

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Saga's mum leave the room and head downstairs. I wondered where she had gone.

I smiled and shook my head at Saga. I would try and stop her hating the camera so much; she was too beautiful to be hiding away! "I'm not going to ruin all those pictures of your beautiful face sweetheart," I whispered into her ear. I didn't know why but her dad's presence made me feel uncomfortable when I was being so open with Saga. I didn't want him to think bad of me or think of me as taking advantage of his daughter.

just then her mum's voice called out after a flurry of fast footsteps on the stairs. She came into the room and as I lifted my head up I could see that she had a huge grin on her face; I smiled back and pulled Saga round to face her. "I found it!" She called out, waving a book around, "I've got the photos!" I grinned and Saga groaned.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I turned round slowly and my eyes opened wide as I moaned out, "Nooo... Please god no!" I looked to Ash, seeing if he'd back me up, but now he was grinning like a blooming Cheshire cat.

"I'll just stay here." Ash shook his head and grabbed my hand, dragging me behind him and following my mum downstairs. I didn't not want to relive these photos. It would take hours to go through them. There were so many! Oh well, I'll just hide behind a pillow.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I laughed and shook my head as I dragged Saga behind me. I was really excited to see these photos of Saga. I wondered what they would look like. Beautiful no doubt. But she didn't seem to share my enthusiasm, I didn't know why they could be so bad to her. "You are going to look at them with me!" I told Saga stubbornly before leaning down and whispering in her ear. "I need to remind you how beautiful you are." I said cheekily.

When we sat down in the living room I pulled Saga close to me so that she was practically on my lap. I kissed her cheek softly, I could see her dad staring at us out of the corner of my eye.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I didn't want to sit in his lap, I wanted to run and hide in a corner. No one was going to understand how embarrassing this is for me, but to put it into perspective it's probably ten times worse than falling over and flashing your underwear to the most popular people in school. That's how embarrassing this was for me. I didn't want it to happen.

But my mum opened the album and started on the first page. I turned away and decided that whatever was outside the window was far more interesting than whatever was in this album before me. I could see Ash's face from the corner of my eye and his eyes widened. I groaned loudly and reached for a pillow. Hiding my the redness that was creeping into my cheeks.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I smiled at the photos. There were so many of Saga and she was just stunning in all of them! I didn't understand why she was hiding away from them, there was nothing for her to be embarrassed about. But I bristled slightly when I saw the ones with Ace in. There were even a few where he was pretending to be the good brother whilst smiling with Saga. That made me angry to think about but I decided that it was best to not let that show. I tried to keep my face calm when any of Ace showed up. But I couldn't help but beam when I saw the ones of Saga; that beautiful creature was my girl! There was one particular photo of Saga on her own. She wasn't dressed up like in all the others; it was a really natural pose. To me, it was by far the most beautiful picture of her. I couldn't stop looking at it.

I turned to her mum and smiled politely. "These photos really are gorgeous Mrs Gregorio," I said. I could see Saga's neck was going red beneath the cushion that she was trying to hide behind. I tilted my head towards her mum and said in a low voice. "I don't have any pictures of Saga... would I be able to... ermmm... keep one?" I was a little embarrassed to ask in case of what her dad might think.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I heard what Ash said and I turned round and hit him. "No! Mum you can't let him!" She just laughed and so did Ash. So did my dad for that matter and he was across the other side of the room. I moaned again and hid my face in the pillow just as I heard my mum say, "There's more!" And I knew the ones she was talking about.

"Don't. You. Dare! Not those ones!" I cried out. This could not be happening.

I bet too that Ash would make me look through them with him later. He was annoying me. My whole family was. Did they not understand that things have changed? I'm not like that anymore!

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I couldn't help but grin at Saga. I kinda thought that she was overreacting a little bit about the photos but then I realised that she had had a great knock to her self confidence. She didn't see herself as beautiful like I did, but I was going to change that.

"Thanks," I said to her mum as she gave me the photo. I went and put it in my pocket.

I laughed when Saga perked up. I was curious now to find out exactly what she meant about the other photos. I flashed Saga a devilish grin before turning to her mum. "What photos are these?" I asked playfully. I could see Saga out of the corner of my eye, she looked about ready to pounce on me. So, I struck my arm out and looped it around her waist; pulling Saga onto my lap with a laugh. I kissed her cheek as her mum flipped to the back of the book. She had a wide grin on her face as she opened up onto a page of photos. I could feel Saga burying her face into my chest whilst trying to push my head away. But I was determined to look and I was glad that I did so. Wow! By God she looked sexy and beautiful in those photos?!

"Wow," I breathed out slowly, a grin spreading across my face. "I sure wish I was the one who took those," I whispered playfully into Saga's ear. She was stunning!

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I cried out and pulled away from Ash. "No...!" I had tears in my eyes and I knew they all thought I was over reacting. I hated every single one of those photos, especially the ones at the back. Why couldn't they just leave it? I thought today was meant to be good, not to crush my feelings and self confidence even more. I snatched the book from my mum's and Ash's lap and pretty much threw it across the room.

They wanted to comfort me, but I turned and half stumbled and ran to my room. I slammed the door and went and hid behind my couch that was facing to look out of my large, pretty much glass wall of a window. I grabbed a pillow and bit the corner of it, letting out a scream. What did everyone see in those photos that was amazing? Amazing that I used to look like that? Reminisce of when I was nice to look at? I hated it! Could they not see that? The tears that had been brewing in my eyes spilled over and I was gone.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I was shocked. What had just happened?! I hadn't realised that it had meant so much to Saga that I didn't see those photos. I looked around the room, her parents were just sitting their, stunned. Her mum went to stand up to go after her, "No! I'll go," I said standing up. I scooped up the book as I went past it and gingerly placed it on the arm of the sofa. I smiled gently at her parents before leaving the room.

I ran up the stairs, taking two at a time. When I reached our bedroom door I gingerly knocked against it. "Saga?! Baby?! Can I come in?!" I asked quietly. I was really worried. I could hear sobbing noises coming from the room.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I heard someone at the door. Who it was I didn't know and I didn't care. "Go. Away!" I screamed. My voice cracked and I felt the roughness of my throat again. I didn't care. Why did they do this? Was I never allowed to be left alone?

I buried my face further into the pillow and cupped my hands over my ears. Trying to block the noise out. I should have just let them kill me. If my life was going to be like this then I needed to go. I would just hurt people more...

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I tried to not let what she said upset me. I needed to be strong here and not get affected by it. She was the one who was upset. I was the one who was meant to look after her and try and cheer up. I wasn't going to just leave her in there to cry. If she was going to cry then she could cry on me and we could talk about what was wrong.

"It's Ash. I'm coming in." I said gently, pushing open the door and stepping inside the room. I closed the door after me and looked around. I saw her, curled up on the floor. Hiding behind a pillow. I walked towards her slowly and bent down next to her. I reached out and put my hand on her arm. "Saga?" I whispered. I wanted to just pull her close to me and hold her tight until she stopped crying but I knew that I needed to talk to her about this first. It was partly my fault and I needed to fix that before she was likely to want to be near me.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I didn't really hear anyone say anything else over my crying and covering my eyes, but then I felt someone's hand on my arm and I froze. All those bad memories, all those horrid thoughts, all colliding as one. It was a bad place to be in. I was in the worst place possible.

I held my hands tighter to my ears and tried to hold back the sobs and the tears for the sake of the person that was probably mocking me right in front of me. I didn't want to look up. I didn't want anyone to see. I wanted to floor to swallow me whole. I wanted to be gone! I wanted those photos to be gone! I. Hated. It!

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I waited for a moment to see if Saga would reply, but she only buried her face deeper into her hands. She was trying to hide from everyone and everything. I could hear her sobs quiet but I knew that didn't mean she had stopped crying. I needed to get through to her, let her know that it was alright. I just needed to talk to Saga, I didn't want her to feel alone again. She was never alone, not now that I was going to be here to protect and look after her.

"Saga?!" I tried again, but she still didn't respond. I needed her to. I reached out and tried to take her hands away from her face. She struggled but I managed to. I quickly put my hands either side of her face before she could return to her previous position. I moved round so that I was kneeling in front of her. I lent in and kissed her on the lips. It was gentle; I didn't want to hurt her. I pulled back and looked Saga square in the eye. "Saga! Talk to me?!... Please?!" I said, my voice weak and full of worry..

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

He held onto my face, my puffy eyes hardly seeing him but I heard the pain in his voice. "I-I..." My voice cracked and I broke down again. I wanted to hide away and I fought so hard to bring my face away from his hands.

If I could run like I used to then I'd quite happily run away, but with how I was I knew I wouldn't get very far. I knew I looked like a mess. Why was he still here!?

[Deleted]

Ash faulkner~~

Even though she didn't say much, it still meant so much that she had tried. It meant that maybe I could fix this. Maybe I could make her feel like she was beautiful and that she was worth it. Because she truly was.

I gently released one of my hands so that I could wipe away the tears from her cheeks. I lent forward and kissed her eyelids. "Saga?! Please talk to me about this? I love you and want to make this better.... please?!" I said softly. I put my other hand back against her face and held her firm so that she couldn't escape. not yet. Not ever. I wasn't going to leave her.

[Lotus]

~~Saga Gregorio

I tried to stop crying, and eventually the sobs got quieter but the tears still silently fell. I opened my mouth and I squeaked. My eyes widened and that made more tears flow. I wasn't who I was, I wasn't going to ever be that girl again. I hated that feeling. I truly wanted to scream, but my voice wouldn't allow it. I opened my mouth and this time something barely audible came out,

"I-I...hate them... All of them... That was the old me... That'll never come back..." I tried to pull my face away again, squirming under his tight grasp. I wanted to hide. I wanted this to not be happening.

[Deleted]

Ash Faulkner~~

I smiled softly at her and shook my head gently. I didn't want Saga thinking that as it wasn't true. She was still just as beautiful and amazing now as she had been before. I just needed to make her see it. I lent forward and kissed her gently again.

"Saga, that's not true... You're still that person... that's you... it always will be you... you're still beautiful and great and all of those other things.... I love you Saga because you are you..." I said gently. I stroked her cheek gently and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I wanted her to believe me so badly. I really did. I wanted to make all of this so much better.